Monday, December 12, 2011

MYSTERY:"The Late Night Horror Show"

Jack Snyder had two great loves in his life: 1) old fashioned horror films (which by today’s standards are not horror films at all) and 2) his family. His priorities were not necessarily in this order.

One of the great joys of Jack’s life was to invite one or more of his grandsons to spend Friday or Saturday night at his home. “Granddad Jack” and his grandsons would select a VHS tape or DVD from his extensive library and watch it in the family room after his wife, Candace, went to bed. The boys loved doing this. They felt like adults staying up later than their grandma. Also, Jack always made sure there was popcorn available. Turning off the family room lights and viewing an old black and white film on the big screen television added to the atmosphere.

Andy, Matt and David genuinely enjoyed their granddad’s old films.Dennis, at age seven, the youngest of the boys, did not enjoy the horror films as much as the others, but did like to stay up late and eat popcorn.

One Friday evening just after school was out for the summer, Candace and Jack agreed to keep all four boys for the weekend so their parents could take a three-day mini vacation – alone. The boys ranged in age from 13-year-old Andy to 7-year-old Dennis. 11-year-old Matthew was especially excited as it was his turn to pick out what they would view on this early June Friday night. After dinner, Jack and the boys went upstairs to his office library, a converted bedroom where he kept his collection in what used to be the bedroom closet. The closet doors had been removed for ease of access and the boys never tired of looking at it. Jack placed great emphasis on keeping the tapes and DVDs chronicled and placed in alphabetical order. Tonight, as always, every film in his library was accounted for and in its proper place.

After much deliberation, Matthew selected Fall of the House of Usher, a 1960 film starring the great Vincent Price as the tormented Roderick Usher. This was one of Jack’s favorites. He was delighted that it was one of Matthew’s as well -- he had selected this film several times when it was his turn to choose. They took the DVD downstairs and placed it by the television in the family room. Jack and the boys were all set for what they referred to as their “Late Night Horror Show.”

But, before grandma’s bedtime the evening lay before them. The Snyder’s backyard was huge and was the place of many family gatherings. Jack played with the boys outside on the swing set and also engaged the boys in pitch and catch. Candace sat in the sandbox with Dennis, who would shortly be too old to enjoy this any longer. Candace lamented that David had tired of it at about the same age Dennis is now.

The six of them stayed outside until dark, a little over two hours.David went inside once to get soft drinks for everyone. At 9:00 p.m., the family came inside to clean up and watch television until grandma’s bedtime. The boys took turns showering and changing clothes in the downstairs bathroom. Jack dozed off in his chair as they prepared for the night. Candace was busy getting the boys clean clothes and watching bits of the news.

After showering, Andy hobbled painfully to the kitchen for an apple.Candace gave him permission to sleep downstairs because he had twisted his ankle playing outside, and it was painful for him to climb the stairs. Matthew went upstairs to find his toothbrush but quickly yelled for Candace to come upstairs and help him find it.Matthew’s overnight bag was in the guest bedroom opposite the top of the stairs, and she observed him searching in vain for the toothbrush.

As Candace’s bedtime approached, Jack went upstairs to turn off his computer, when he noticed his VHS copy of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman was missing from its place on the first row shelf. This was another of his favorites, a 1957 B horror/science fiction film starring the cult scream queen, Allison Hayes. Jack knew immediately what had happened: One of his grandsons had given in to the temptation to borrow one of his films. He wasn’t exactly mad, but was mildly annoyed as he had asked all of them not to do this numerous times. He was pleased that his grandsons shared his passion for these old films, though he wanted them to have more respect for his wishes.

Going back downstairs, he called the family together and explained what he had found. Looking at all four of his grandsons, he said, “Fall of the House of Usher will begin when Attack of the 50 Foot Woman is returned to me.”

Nobody said anything. Finally, Candace said, “I have seen and heard everything tonight. I know who has that silly film.”

MYSTERY:"The Zoo Job"

As Roger headed into the zoo office, he ran into Leonard, a tall man with blond hair. Roger liked Leonard, but sometimes, he went overboard with his practical jokes.

He remembered Leonard’s last prank very well. He had snuck Roger’s cowboy hat into the chimpanzee cage. Then Harriet, one of the two chimpanzees, had put it on her head and wouldn’t take it off.

Everyone in the crowd that day started laughing. Roger was angry at first but eventually laughed too.

“I hope there are no practical jokes today, Leonard,” Roger said.

Leonard’s eyes twinkled and then he shrugged.

Roger didn’t know what to make of that, but he did know that at least his new hat was safe.Leonard never repeated the same practical joke twice.

He said goodbye to Leonard, then walked into the main zoo building. Seated on the bench in front of his office were three students wearing nametags.

Roger then remembered that the Zoo manager had asked him to show the students around and figure out who would be the best employee for the summer. The zoo could only afford one of them.

Roger was happy to do it as he knew the qualities that the zoo needed. They wanted someone who was knowledgeable, co-operative and loved animals.

“Hello, everyone,” Roger said. “Today we’re going to feed a couple of the animals and the four of us will get to know one another. That way I can tell who is most suited to the job.”

Tom, a husky boy, sighed. “I hope we’re going to finish this fast, I have to go to a baseball game.”

“It’ll take about an hour. “What time’s your game?”

“About four,” Tom said.

“Should be okay, unless we go into extra innings,” Roger smiled.

Roger’s eyes wandered over to the other two students. “You guys care what time we finish?”

Cindy shook her head. “No, I don’t have to give blood till seven and I can do my volunteer work at the Church after that.”

Tom looked at Cindy. “What are you some kind of saint?”

“Just trying to do my part.”

Tom grunted.

“How about you, Henry?” Roger asked.

“I, uh, well...” he said, his right shoulder twitching. “...everything is fine.”

The four of them left the building and headed toward the animal cages. The first cage housed the Cockatoo. “This is Wally,” said Roger. He opened a door beside the cage and led the students into a room with a small fridge. Roger had Henry open the fridge and remove a plate of cut fruit and some birdseed.

Henry’s hands shook and he accidentally dropped a bit of fruit on the ground. He turned all red. “I’m sorry.” He said. “You’re not going to yell at me are you?I can’t stand being yelled at.”

“No, no. Don’t worry, Henry, I drop things too.”

Henry nodded then gave the plate to Roger. The students then followed Roger through the door into the feeding area.

Cindy moved close to the large white bird. “Hi Wally, what’s up?”

Tom stared at Cindy. “I can’t believe you’re talking to that bird. He doesn’t know what you’re saying.”

“For your information, Cockatoos are very intelligent. I read they’re as smart as a three year old.”

Roger grinned. “That’s right, very good Cindy.”

After the Cockatoo had been fed, the three of them ambled over to the elephant cage. “This is Sally,” Roger said. Then he took everyone into the room beside the cage. “Tom can you take that big container of food from the fridge.”

Tom shook his head. “I’m not carrying that, it weighs a ton,”

“I’ll do it,” said Cindy. The container wobbled in her hands for a moment, but then she was able to hold it steady. “This is going to give me strong muscles for sure.”

Henry reached inside the fridge to get the elephant’s desert -- a cantaloupe but it dropped onto the ground. As he picked it up, his body started to quiver. “I’m sorry, please don’t yell.”

“Don’t worry so much Henry. Everything is okay.”

Cindy handed the food container to Roger and Henry gave him the cantaloupe. Roger and the students then entered the elephants feeding area.

“I think elephants are the stupidest animals,” said Tom. “They have that ridiculous trunk and a real dumb expression on their face.”

“Actually, they’re very smart,” said Cindy. “They’re the only animal that mourns when one of the other elephants dies.”

Roger nodded. “Yes, you’re right once again Cindy. You must study a lot.”

“I love animals and like to know everything about them.”

Once the elephants were fed, Roger and the three students walked over to the chimpanzee area. “This is Harriet and Charlie,” Roger said as he led the students into the room beside the cage. Then Roger had Henry remove the plate of food from the fridge. This time, Henry didn’t drop a thing.

“Good Work, Henry.”

“Thanks.”

Roger was about to take the plate into the feeding area when he remembered his hat. He was worried that one of the chimps might take it. He didn’t want to lose another hat so he put it on the top of the fridge. Then he took the plate from Henry and went into the feeding area with the students.

Harriet had been swinging on a small trapeze in the cage. But when she spotted Roger she raced over to him, still wearing his hat.”

Tom shook his head. “I bet she doesn’t have a brain in her head.”

“You’re wrong,” said Cindy. “Chimpanzee’s are the only animals that can make tools.”

Tom started to laugh. “Tools? What’s he do, make a hammer?”

“No, they sharpen sticks so that they can get the ants out of the dirt and eat them.”

“That’s disgusting.”

Cindy turned to look at Charlie. “He looks so sad.I think he’s upset that he doesn’t have a hat like Harriet.”

As soon as they exited the feeding area, Roger felt a tap on his shoulder. It was Leonard. “Hey Len. Everyone this is Leonard. He’s another zoo keeper.”

All the students said hi except Tom, who looked at his watch. “Hey it’s three thirty. Are we going to be finished soon?”

“Yeah, I think that’s it for today.” Roger went to get the hat that he’d left on the fridge. But it wasn’t there. Suddenly, he heard screams of laughter from Leonard and the students.

When he looked back at the monkey cage, he saw the two chimps holding hands and both wearing cowboy hats. He had to giggle, but at the same time he needed to know who had done it -- one of the students or Leonard. If it was Leonard that was one thing, but if it was one of the kids...well Roger didn’t want to hire someone who was another practical joker. One was enough.

“So anyone want to tell me who put my hat in the monkey cage?”

MYSTERY:"Who Let The Frogs Out"

Mr. Womback arrived at his biology classroom at 8:00 am, as usual. Waiting for him in the hallway was Matilda Robbens, one of his eleventh grade students. She was carrying a red and white plastic cooler, the kind you pack picnic lunches in. Only, this cooler seemed to be shaking, all on its own.

“I got your frogs, Mr. Womback!” the freckle-faced tomboy yelped, holding up the agitated cooler. “Finally! Thirty frogs, like you wanted.”

“Good,” Mr. Womback responded. He unlocked the door to his classroom, flicked on the lights and walked inside. Then he unlocked the door to the storage room behind his front desk. Matilda trailed after him with her jumpy cooler.

“Here, put it on the counter, Matilda, next to the aquarium,” Mr. Womback instructed.

The girl set the cooler down on the black counter that ran the length of the narrow room, next to a large, empty aquarium. “It took me two whole weeks to catch all of them, Mr. Womback. Like you’ve taught us in class, the frog populations are way down, and I had a really hard time finding all you wanted. Really hard!”

“Five dollars a piece, Matilda,” Mr. Womback intoned, opening up the cooler and looking down at thirty healthy green and brown leopard frogs. “As we agreed.” One of the amphibians leaped up and almost hit the man in the nose, and Mr. Womback began transferring the rambunctious hoppers from the cooler to the aquarium.

“Ten dollars each,” Matilda countered.

Just then Kyle Kravetsky, the science department’s student lab assistant, stuck his head in the doorway.

“Here, Kyle,” Mr. Womback said, “help me get these frogs into the aquarium.”

“Not a chance, Teach,” Kyle grimaced, watching with distaste as a large green spotted specimen wriggled out of Mr. Womback’s hands and hit the counter hopping.“I’m not touching those slimy reptiles. Snakes, either. You don’t pay me enough for that.”

Mr. Womback snorted, grabbing up the rogue frog and squirting it into the aquarium.

“Speaking of pay …” Matilda reminded him.

“I’m sorry, Matilda. Five dollars per frog is all I have in the budget. I’ll get a check made up that you can pick up in class this afternoon.”

It was Matilda’s turn to snort, as she stomped out of the classroom.

“Speaking of checks, Mr. W, you think you can advance me my hundred dollars for this week?” Kyle asked. “See, I’ve got a date with-”

“You know you left the doors unlocked the other night?” Mr. Womback interrupted, turning on the thin, straw-haired teenager. “Sergio Ramos, the night custodian, informed me that when he came to clean the rooms at 6:00 pm Monday night, both doors were unlocked. I’ve warned you about that before, Kyle. With a key, comes responsibility. We have expensive equipment and toxic chemicals”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry about that, Mr. W. Won’t happen again. Now, about that advance …”

“See you in class this afternoon,” Mr. Womback dismissed the boy, as he bobbled the last of the squirming frogs into the aquarium.

When the biology teacher held up a frog to his eleventh grade class later that afternoon, he announced that they would be dissecting them during Friday’s class. A mixture of cheering and eewing went up, along with Marnie Pepper’s hand.

“I protest putting these innocent frogs to death, Mr. Womback!” the small, redheaded bundle of energy stated. As a self-described ‘animal activist’, the girl was concerned with the welfare and ethical treatment of all creatures, amphibious or otherwise.

“So noted,” Mr. Womback sighed. “Just like with the worms, Marnie, you can leave the classroom and study a dissection on the computer, while the real dissections are taking place.”

Marnie folded her arms over her chest and further declared, “I want it on record that the use of animals for experimental purposes is-”

“So noted!” Mr. Womback declared back, sticking the wriggling frog into the pocket of his lab coat.

A half hour after class concluded at 3:30, as Mr. Womback was locking his classroom door, he caught Sergio Ramos sauntering down the hallway. “I hope you do a better job of cleaning my class and storage rooms than you did last night, Sergio. Half of the wastepaper baskets weren’t even emptied and some of the lab tables weren’t wiped down. Not to mention, you broke another jar of calf brains.”

The lanky janitor glanced angrily around at the students snickering at him getting chewed out by Mr. Womback. “Hey, man,” he said, trying to act cool, “I just came to watch the volleyball game. I’m not on the clock ‘til six, you know.”

Mr. Womback grunted. Then he joined the large body of students and teachers heading towards the gymnasium to watch the girls’ volleyball team take on the school’s cross-town rival.

Marnie Pepper turned out to be the star of the game, her parents and a crowd of cheering admirers sweeping her and the rest of the team out of the school for a victory party at a local pizzeria right after the game ended at 6:00. Sergio Ramos locked the doors to the school shortly thereafter.

Mr. Womback’s first clue that something was wrong the next morning was when he spotted two frogs sitting in a puddle in the teachers’ parking lot. They eyed him suspiciously, and he eyed them. His second clue was when he found both the door to his classroom and his storage room unlocked. His final clue was when he saw the aquarium sitting empty, the window above it slightly ajar.

“Morning, Teach,” Kyle Kravetsky said, strolling into the storage room. “Hey, where are all the croakers?”

Mr. Womback gritted his teeth. “Apparently, they somehow escaped through a closed window sometime after I left the classroom – locked! – at 4:00 pm yesterday afternoon. Kyle!?”

As the teenager blushed redder than a Panamanian poison frog, Matilda Robbens popped her head into the room. “What’s going on? Hey, where’d all the frogs go?”

“They were here when I restocked those test tubes around five o’clock like you asked, Mr. W.” Kyle gulped. “I left a little while after that to refill Mr. Ludwig’s Bunsen burners in the chemistry lab. I, uh, think … I locked the doors.”

Mr. Womback simmered like pan-fried frogs’ legs, staring at the boy.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Womback,” Matilda piped up, “I can get some frogs pretty quick – for a price.”

Mr. Womback barged past his two students and out into the classroom proper. His glaring eyes took in the overflowing wastepaper baskets and the puddles of formaldehyde on the lab tables.“Looks like Ramos didn’t even bother cleaning my classroom at all last night!” he growled.

Then the irate biology teacher’s blood pressure dropped like a frog’s in winter mud hibernation, as he suddenly realized what happened. “I think I know who let the frogs out,” he hypothesized.

MYSTERY: "Who Scratched the Porsche?"

Rochester was glad it was his turn to walk the dog. He generally didn't like to do this chore when company was over, but since Malcolm, the school bully, was one of those visitors he welcomed the chance to get away.

Malcolm and his mother, Dr. Von Beddinglam, were over that night to meet Colonel Greenerbaum. Colonel Greenerbaum was a client of Rochester's father. Rochester's mother thought the single Dr. Von Beddinglam and the single Colonel Greenerbaum would want to meet. It turned out to be a bad idea as Colonel Greenerbaum was not nearly as nice as Rochester's parents thought.

Rochester's mother reminded Rochester to be very careful while walking the dog, after all Rochester was still in the 6th grade. Rochester assured his mother he would and then zipped up his jacket and grabbed Fido's leash.

"It was nice meeting you Colonel Greenerbaum," said Rochester.

"Is it still raining outside?" grumbled the colonel. "It was raining cats and dogs early today, made my Cayman S Porsche all muddy."

"I shall see," responded Rochester.

There wasn't any rain outside but there was the neighbor's cat on the front porch. After a couple of barks and a loud hiss, the dog began to chase the cat and both pets quickly disappeared into the night.

"Oh dear," said Rochester.

Rochester's parents moaned. This has happened several times before and every time they would tell Rochester to put the leash on Fido before opening the door. Fortunately, Fido always grew tired of chasing the cat after a few blocks and returned home on his own.

"Well, it looks like it hasn't rained in quite a while, colonel," said Rochester.

The colonel muttered something inaudibly and then left the house without even thanking Rochester's parents for their hospitality.

"How about some lights?" growled Colonel Greenerbaum as he walked in the dark towards his Porsche.

Before anyone could reply, Colonel Greenerbaum took another step and turned on the motion-sensor light above the garage just as he reached his car.

"Thank you for a lovely evening," said Dr. Von Beddinglam. She was always polite and always very gracious. "Let's go Malcolm!"

Malcolm stumbled into the foyer carrying his electric guitar in his right hand. He didn't have a case for his guitar because the police were holding it as evidence. Rochester hated that guitar. For one, Malcolm used Rochester's face as a pick for a 45-minute rendition of "Smoke on the Water" and two: it was a left-handed guitar.

"Thank you for a lovely evening," said Malcolm pretending to be sincere.

Before Rochester's mother could praise Malcolm for his manners, the colonel yelled: "someone scratched my car!"

Everyone ran outside and saw that there was a foot long scratch on the driver's side door of Colonel Greenerbaum's brand new Porsche. The scratch ran parallel to the car and was as straight as a ruler.

The colonel had backed his car up the driveway, meaning the driver's side was directly next to the driver side of Dr. Von Beddinglams car. The front of her car faced up at the house, while Colonel Greenerbaum's Porsche faced down the steeply sloped driveway towards the street.

"This is your fault," shouted Colonel Greenerbaum to Rochester's father. "I'm going to make you pay! This scratch will cost $759.89 to fix!"

Rochester's father asked Colonel Greenerbaum if maybe the scratch had occurred somewhere else but the colonel insisted the damaged had been done while parked in his driveway.

"I love my Cayman S Porsche and its 295 horsepower. I know what every inch of my car looks like at all times!"

Colonel Greenerbaum grabbed a flashlight from his glove box and used it to give Rochester's father a better look at the scratch.

"Look how long it is," exclaimed Colonel Greenerbaum.

The colonel licked his thumb and rubbed some mud away from the scratch to reveal that it was two inches longer than previously estimated.

"What do you think?" asked Rochester's mother.

"It looks like a new scratch but I don't know. How can we be sure it happened here?" wondered Rochester's father.

Just then, Fido returned home with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Rochester quickly attached the leashed to his collar and gave him a little scratch behind the ears.

"Your dog is suspect number one. Look at his collar. It's the same height as the scratch. He could have done it when he chased the cat. I told you it's your fault."

Rochester's father agreed that Fido could have scratched the Porsche but he still wasn't convinced.

"You're daughter Roxie rode her bike home. Her bike could have done it and that makes her suspect number two."

Roxie had returned from the library shortly after Colonel Greenerbaum arrived. Dinner was delayed while everyone waited for her to change her clothes. During Roxie's ride home, her bicycle's back tire splashed mud all over her.

"She coasted her bike between the two cars and scratched the car with her pedal."

Colonel Greenerbaum grabbed Roxie's bike; it was leaning up against the garage door. The colonel positioned the bike so it faced in the same direction Roxie would have been travelling when she came up the driveway. He then positioned the pedal on Roxie's bike at the same height as the scratch on his Porsche. Next the colonel moved the bike forward, but didn't move the pedal, to show how Roxie's bike could have scratched his Porsche while coasting home.

"It's possible," admitted Rochester's father. "I'll go and ask my daughter if she scratched your car."

Rochester's mother buried her head in her hand. Her daughter would never purposely damage someone's property, but she is so easily distracted that she could have very well scratched the Porsche without even realizing it.

"Why? She'll just lie or you'll lie to protect her. Besides, if it wasn't her then it was the boy and his guitar."

The colonel claimed to have seen the guitar when he got out of his Porsche and Malcolm's mother admitted it was kept in the back seat on the driver's side. All agreed that the scratch on the Porsche could have been caused by some of the metal parts on Malcolm's guitar.

"Dr. Von Beddinglam told us before dinner that Malcolm was caught once vandalizing a car. He's a juvenile delinquent. I know he scratched my Porsche with his guitar and since it happened on your property you'll have to pay," said the colonel.

"But when did Malcolm scratch your car?" asked Rochester's father.

"When you were in the kitchen doing the dishes. His mother gave him the keys to her vehicle so he could go and fetch his guitar. Here's how he did it." The colonel ripped the guitar out of Malcolm's right hand and then demonstrated how he scratched the car while walking back to the house. According to the colonel, Malcolm would have walked back to the house with the Porsche on his left side while holding the neck of the guitar in his left hand.

Rochester's father admitted it was very plausible especially the way the cars were parked. Dr. Von Beddinglam asked her son if he had scratched the car and of course he said he didn't.

"It doesn't matter what he says. The kid is a hoodlum," proclaimed Colonel Greenerbaum. I gave you three suspects."

"You forgot to include yourself," remarked Rochester.

The colonel glared at Rochester.

"Colonel, one of the suspects can't speak. The other probably doesn't even remember and the third is a known lair. How are we supposed to know what really happened?" asked Rochester's father.

"I told you there are only three possible ways it could have happened."

"You forgot to include the possibility that the car was already scratched," remarked Rochester.

Again the colonel glared at Rochester.

"Regardless of what your son thinks, or which of the three ways it happened, you are responsible. I demand you pay to have the scratch fixed or I'll take my business elsewhere."

Colonel Greenerbaum was Rochester's father’s top client. If he lost the colonel's business he could possibly lose his entire business.

"I'm sorry about your car, Colonel. I will pay to have it fixed."

Rochester's father was dejected but he saw no other around the mystery of the scratched Porsche and no other way to keep the colonel's business.

Suddenly, the motion sensor light turned itself off after its long programmable delay period had expired. In another coincidence, the neighbor's cat returned. Fido saw the feline and tried to chase it but all he did was jerked the leash taunt and turn the motion sensor light back on.

"Father," said Rochester, "I know who is responsible for the scratch on the colonel's Porsche."

MYSTERY: "Death In Theatre"

I muttered to myself as my beeper went off. My double shift was almost over and I was drinking my sixth cup of coffee at the all night coffee shop down the street from the station to try and to stay awake. My beeper going off meant one thing and one thing only; someone had been killed and I was needed. Normally, one of the other detectives would have gotten the call, but with a name like Maria Honduras, I was the only non-Irish detective on the small force here in Gallaway, MA. All of the other detectives were off duty, happily celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. I picked up my cell phone and called the station to get the details. Nancy Zinkham had been found murdered in her dressing room at the theatre that evening. I was off at once.

Nancy was a huge celebrity comic who came from Gallaway before making it big on TV. However, in keeping with her small town roots, she loved to come back to perform one week a year here in Gallaway, doing a great one person stand up routine for charity. Solving the murder was going to a big deal. It was not just a make or break case, but Nancy had also been my best friend growing up. This was now personal and staying awake was no longer going to be a problem.

Quickly, I got to the small theatre and talked to the uniformed policeman standing outside the door to the dressing rooms. “Hi Tom, what have we got?” I asked the patrolman I had known for many years. “Hello gorgeous.” Tom has had a crush on me since grade school. “As usual, Nancy spent the entire day in her dressing room alone. She arrived about 7 am this morning with her yoga mat, her organic salad and 2 bottles of water. Her instructions are pretty simple. No one bothers her for any reason prior to the show. She just spends the entire day in her dressing room doing yoga and meditating to get ready for the show. However, when she did not appear for the opening act, one of the stage hands went to check on her and found her dead in her dressing room.” “Who was back there in the dressing rooms today?” I asked. “No one is really sure” was the unfortunate reply.

Prior to inspecting the dressing rooms, I talked to the theatre manager, Dan Gallagher. Dan told me that there were three dressing rooms in the back. All were about the same size, though usually the star got one and the other two were used for the remaining actors and actresses. Each dressing room had a bathroom, a small refrigerator and a sink. That explained how Nancy was able to spend all day in her dressing room. I asked Dan who might have been in the dressing rooms that day. He told me there was no real way to know as lots of people were back there throughout the day. That was when I noticed the video camera above the doorway to the dressing rooms. I asked Dan about it and he told me that yes, there was video of the hallway that we could check. I sent Dan and Tom to get the video. I told Tom to watch the video on fast-forward from early this morning till now to see who went through that door. Meanwhile, I was going to inspect the scene of the crime. By this point, I was really regretting that sixth cup of coffee. I certainly did not need the caffeine to stay away and my bladder was well past full.

The first two dressing rooms yielded nothing unusual, which did not surprise me. After all, there was no one using them all day. There were however, bagels in the refrigerator of the second dressing room. Given the late hour, I was tempted to taste test them for freshness, but decided against it in deference to my figure. Now it was time to check out Nancy’s dressing room. Walking into her dressing room, I saw her lying on the floor with a knife in her back. Someone was going to pay for this. I spent about 15 minutes carefully inspecting her dressing room. Everything was as I expected to find it. There was a yoga mat on the floor, numerous empty water bottles and empty salad containers in the trash and another bottle half empty on the table. The coroner would determine the time of death, but based upon her arrival at 7 am, I was guessing a late afternoon demise. By now, the coffee got the best of me. I quickly went into the bathroom, put down the seat and felt relief. It was time to go see who had been back here.

By now, Tom and Dan were done looking at the video. Tom told me that there were four people who were in the dressing area the entire day: Kevin Doyle, the owner of the theatre, two actresses appearing in the next show and a cleaning lady. Each of them went in separately and came out less than ten minutes later. Unfortunately for me, all of them had been carrying something large enough to hide a knife, so they were all suspects. None of them seemed like obvious choices, so I told Tom to round them all up and have them meet me in the station the next morning. At that point, the Coroner had arrived and I gave him the lay of the land. He promised me he would have some initial results to me in time to interview the suspects in the morning.

Before facing the four suspects, one of whom had killed an old friend of mine, I called the Coroner to see if he had anything for me. He confirmed that Nancy was killed with a knife and that the time of death was late in the afternoon. Other than that, he had nothing as of now. There were no fingerprints on the scene and no other clues of a note.

It was time to face the suspects in the order they appeared on the video. First, I talked to the two actresses, Joanne Driscoll and Helen Smith. The two of them were co-staring in the next performance, a comedy, which was starting in two days. “What were you doing in the dressing area yesterday?” I asked them. They suddenly looked nervous. “We were rehearsing with the rest of the cast all morning. The director had brought the best bagels along with a great selection of spreads,” stammered Joanne. “Yes,” Helen added. “I did not want them to go to waste.So, when rehearsal broke for lunch around noon, I took the leftovers to the refrigerator in the actress’s dressing room.” “Did you happen to talk with Nancy” I asked her pointedly. “No way.” “Joanne, what were you doing in the dressing room?” “I got tied up going over some new lines with the director. Since the lunch break was only half an hour, I did not have time to go out for lunch, so I ran to grab one of the leftover bagels. And no, I did not talk to Nancy.”

Next it was Kevin’s turn. Any particular reason you would be in the dressing area yesterday, I asked calmly. “Of course there is. As the theatre owner, I make rounds several times a day of the entire theatre. Among other things, I check to make sure that Tina the cleaning lady is doing her job. Before you ask, no, I did not happen to talk with Nancy at all yesterday. On top of that, no, I did not have any reason to wish her ill will. Every year she came back and packed the theatre every night for a week with her charity routine. Every penny from the sale of the tickets goes to charity and her shows are the only ones all year that fill the house.”

Muttering under my breath that I was running out of possible suspects, it was time to talk to the cleaning lady, Sarah Jones. She was the last one in the dressing area. I asked her about why there were no fingerprints anywhere. “My job is to make sure that everything is clean throughout the theatre. I dust, vacuum and empty the trash. I do my job well, though I never clean Nancy’s dressing room while she is there. She is always in it and does not want to be disturbed. I just clean it well before she arrives and I clean it again when she leaves at the end of the week. No one goes in the dressing room but her.” Something told me I needed to keep questioning the cleaning lady, so I kept after her for another half an hour. Finally, one of the other detectives stuck his head in the room and asked if I wanted a cup of coffee. I snapped at him and told him no, I did not want a cup of coffee; I was solving a murder investigation. Then it hit me. I knew who did it.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

MYSTERY: "The Date"

Boulder, Colorado has some of the most scenic vistas to be found anywhere in America. Mountaintops are everywhere and each one is a sight. Sit at one of the outside tables at Zolos and the view is one of the best in Boulder, which makes it one of the best in the world. It was Saturday February 2, the night before the Super Bowl and I was enjoying one of the best views in Boulder. With my back to the mountains, I was seated across the table from the CFO of Wonder Cream, Cynthia Hogarth. She easily trumped any mountain view in Boulder. Even better, she had a brain and a personality to go with her looks. Best of all, we seemed to be having a good time on our first date. I was going to have to thank my friend for setting us up on this blind date on my visit to Boulder.

The night had been going well since we met, when suddenly she reached across the table and grabbed my hand. I thought she was being forward and I loved it. Then she pointed out that it looked as if my hands were awfully dry and rough. I told her that living in Cleveland will do that and that nothing I had tried seemed to make a difference. That was when she reached into her bag and pulled out a small, unmarked jar of something. She proceeded to rub some of it into my hands. I was enjoying the attention, so I just let her do it. It took me a while to realize that it was not just because she was rubbing my hands that made them feel so wonderful. Whatever she had put on my hands instantly made them feel better.

In the background I heard the song “some guys have all the luck” and thought to myself “Well Uncle Buck, seems like you finally are having some luck”. That of course was when her cell phone rang. Since it was her corporate cell phone, Cynthia apologized and answered it. I heard her tell someone that she could be there in five minutes. I thought, so much for my having all the luck. I asked her what happened. She said that her CEO had just called and told her that someone had stolen the secret formula for the company’s recently launched product. Her CEO wanted all the key people in the office immediately to try to figure out who could have stolen it.

Given that I am a pretty well known private detective in Maryland, I felt honor bound to offer up my services. At least, that was what I told her. Truthfully, I did not want the date to end. Besides, I figured if I solved the crime, I could certainly wrangle a second date. She took me up on my offer and off we went to the headquarters. On the way, I asked her what was so special about this new product. “In a nutshell, it is a 100% natural skin care product. We have developed the first ever natural skin care product out of emu oil.” Emu oil, I ask incredulously. Isn’t that the big bird like an ostrich? “Yes it is. Much as fish oil is rendered from various fish, we render oil from emus. It has virtually magical properties in terms of getting rid of dry skin. If the competition gets this formula, we are ruined because they are much bigger than we are. Since we have the only product, they would pay a fortune to get it.” I asked her if the product actually worked. She asked how my hands felt because it was what she had put on my hands. Since my hands felt amazing, I knew the product formula was worth a fortune.

We arrived at the corporate headquarters and found three others there. These were the other top executives of Wonder Cream. Diane is the CEO. Kristin handles the operations and Bob handles the sales. Diane immediately filled us in on what had happened. A little while earlier, at 9:35 pm, she had come into the office and found the company safe open. Given that only a handful of employees had the combination and there were no signs of it having been cracked open, she immediately knew an employee had stolen the formula. Her first thought was to go check the security video to find out who had opened the safe last. To her surprise, someone had erased the video for the time period of 5:00 pm till 7:00 pm Saturday evening and then turned it off. Obviously, the theft occurred during that time. At that point, I stepped forward and introduced myself and offered to take over, since I was the only one who could not have taken the formula.

I decided to start with Bob. After all, it seemed logical whoever had stolen the formula would be taking the money and running. I asked him why he had a suitcase with him. “I am just getting back from a weeklong trip to Japan. I was setting up distribution of the new skin care product in Japan. They love natural products over there. I took the redeye back.” Having flown cross country many times, I knew that the redeye was the late night flight that got in to the destination early the next morning. I asked him if he had his flight information with him by any chance. At that point he pulled out his passport. Sure enough, it was stamped as departing Tokyo on Friday Feb 1. He also showed me his flight information. His flight departed Friday night at 7:35 pm, landed in San Francisco about 11:50 am, departed at 3:25 pm and arrived in Denver at 7:25 pm. Having flown in a few days before, I knew that Boulder is about an hour from the Denver airport. Bob said that he was in the cab on the way home when he got the call to stop at the office and came right here. Thus, he had his suitcase with him. That seemed logical to me.

Moving on, I asked Diane why she was in the office on Saturday night at 9:30. She told me that it was a ritual with her. Her husband is a doctor who works a 24-hour shift in the ER starting on Saturday night. Thus, every Saturday they go to dinner and a movie before she drops him off at work at 9. Then she swings by the office to pick up the weekly reports to work on during the day on Sunday while he is at the hospital.

I moved on to the next suspect. Since I was hoping it was someone other than Cynthia, I had to quiz Kristin. Where was she from 5 to 7 that night?With a huge sigh of relief, Kristin said that she taught a yoga class every Saturday night from 5 to 7.

While, Cynthia had been with me from 6:30 pm on, that did not give her an alibi prior to that. I asked her what she was doing from 5:00 till we met. She said she was home alone. Sadly, no one had seen her during that time.

With no other clues, I asked if we could watch the video from 4:00 on just in case someone came in earlier. We watched as at 4:45, Cynthia pulled up in her car and entered the building. She did not leave prior to 5:00. Suddenly afraid it was Cynthia, I asked her what she was doing there. She replied that she liked to carry some of their skin cream with her at all times in case she ran into someone who needed to try it. She had run out and stopped to pick some up. Finally, Cynthia said, “There must be another employee who had access to the security tapes because I did not do it.” Diane was livid at the thought that her good friend was the thief and said that we had to call the police immediately. I thought of how much fun we had on our date but obviously the date was not what I thought it was. With no other option, I told Diane that yes, we had to call the police since I had found the thief.

MYSTERY: "Death At Andersonville"

Andersonville Military Prison, deep in the heart of Dixieland Georgia, was the most dreaded of Confederate prisoner-of-war camps. It was such a grim place that the rebel soldiers guarding it were fed and clothed little better than their 33,000 Yankee prisoners. From its inception in February 1864, until the Civil War’s end 14 months later, 13,000 prisoners would die; an astonishing 29% mortality rate. Many of the Union soldiers succumbed to starvation and exposure to the elements, but some were also murdered, as was the case with Private Glendenning Bryan.

Sgt. Crosby, Sgt. Thornton, Pvt. Whisenant and Cpl. Horner shared a tent with Pvt. Bryan – if you could call a few small tree limbs that served as poles, plus a few tattered blankets and threadbare shirts, shelter at all. Because the tent was so small, privacy was virtually non-existent, and this only added to the shock and dismay when the friendly Bryan, a young 19-year-old from Boston, was found dead with a knife wound in his stomach when the sun came up early one steamy Monday morning in August 1864.

Crosby, the 38-year-old no-nonsense senior non-commissioned officer and Chicago, Illinois, policeman, took charge. Speaking within the confines of the small tent, he said, “He’s murdered, murdered right here. I don’t know why, he would’ve been dead in a few days anyway.” Bryan had been in Andersonville the longest and was the most malnourished and sickest of the five.

However, they soon discovered why Bryan had been killed. He had been hoarding food in his clothing, planning to eat it when he felt better. Inside his trousers they found a crudely sewn, hidden pocket that contained breadcrumbs and a few tiny pieces of salt pork. The likable Bryan had been killed for food.

“Well, it wasn’t me that did it,” said the short-tempered Horner, another native of Massachusetts, as he viewed his friend who lay dead just inches from his bare feet."My hands are useless with arthritis and I can’t hardly hold a knife.” Horner was 40-years-old and had spent too many years shoeing horses in the cold weather of his home in Worcester.

“It couldn’t have been me,’ chimed in Thornton. “I was outside walking most of the night.”

“Most of the night is not all of the night,” Crosby pointedly replied. Thornton, a 26-year-old librarian from Philadelphia and quietest of the residents of the tent, winced at this suggestion.

“Did anyone see you?” asked Crosby.

Thornton looked at each man in turn before answering, “Nobody saw me, but I was out walking last night. I was.”

 “I was sick, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, so I was down by the sinks all night,” offered Whisenant, the normally amiable 30-year-old New York school teacher. “I got back here just a few minutes ago.”

Crosby hadn’t slept in the tent the previous night, either, and told them so. “I was at the other end of the camp, trying to get what fresh night air was available.” That was an ironic statement, as it was known that the stench from Andersonville was so severe it was noticed in the city of Americus, several miles away.

“I didn’t notice any of you fellers last night. Just me and Bryan,” said Horner, thinking out loud. Slowly, he asked, “Who owns the knife?”

“Answer that and we have our killer,” Thornton added, dryly.

For a few minutes they all sat in silence. Finally, Crosby said, “I got back here first. I found Horner asleep and Bryan dead.”

Horner shot Crosby a mean look, pointed a gnarled finger at him and said, “I told you I didn’t kill him!” He winced in pain as he did so.

“Easy, corporal, easy, I’m just thinking.”

“Well, for whatever it’s worth to you, I didn’t sleep well,” Horner said. “Who does in this place? I was asleep for only an hour or two and did not see or hear anything, except the usual camp noises.”

“OK, let’s continue,” said Crosby.“I was on the other side of the camp with various friends; not with any one person the entire night, but I was never alone.”

Turning to Thornton, he asked, “What about you? Horner didn’t sleep well, says he didn’t see you.”

“He probably didn’t. I only came back to the tent a couple of times. When I heard him snoring, I did not go in. I didn’t want to bother him. The last time was about an hour ago. It was too dark to notice anything unusual about Bryan.”

Crosby digested this for a moment and then asked Whisenant, “You were sick last night?”

“Right,” he replied. The sight and shock of the dead Bryan did nothing to quiet his queasiness, although he was a butcher by trade in his hometown of Zeeland, Michigan. With great effort, he managed to control a wave of nausea. He needed to go outside and Crosby excused him.

Whisenant returned a few minutes later, weak but feeling better. He dreaded resuming the conversation, but he re-seated himself in the cramped tent and looked at Crosby.

Finally, Crosby stated bluntly, “I know who killed Bryan.”

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

MYSTERY: "Thin Ice"

“Here she goes, boys!” Tom Carlson called, turning on the hose and letting the water loose. He triumphantly swept the hose back and forth, spraying water onto the plastic liner of the hockey rink he’d built in his own backyard with the help of his son, Tom Junior.

The rink was 1/4 scale of an NHL rink, complete with wooden boards, Plexiglass partitions, floodlights and even an electronic scoreboard mounted at one end. It had taken the two Toms all summer and fall to build, and now, with temperatures plummeting, it was finally ready to be put into operation.

“Just think,” Tom Sr. said, throwing an arm around his son’s shoulders, as he guided the hose with the other, “you’ll be able to practice and play all winter long, right here in your own backyard. Just like Wayne Gretzky when he was your age!”

“Super, Dad!” Tom Jr., known as TJ, enthused. The spunky eleven year-old was an even bigger hockey aficionado than his father, following the local AHL team, the Manitoba Moose, with true fan fervor.

“Yep, you are one lucky pucky,” Mikey Chanowski marveled. “My dad won’t even let me play badminton in our backyard.” Mikey was one of TJ’s friends, over to watch the big hose down.

“Well, you can come over and play with TJ anytime you want,” Tom said, “between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 10:00 p.m.”

“How long before the ice freezes properly and we can start skating on it, Mr. Carlson?” Shea Callaghan, another of TJ’s friends asked.

“Well, it’s supposed to go down to minus twenty tonight – warm for this time of year in Winnipeg, but still cold enough – so it should be frozen solid by morning for sure.”

“Awesome!” Shea yelped. “What’s the time now, Mr. Carlson? My parents can’t afford a backyard hockey rink, but they’re taking me to the game tonight. Maybe the Moose will finally break out of their losing streak.”

Tom flipped his wrist and glanced at his watch, accidentally giving Mikey an ice-water face-wash in the process. “Whoops! Sorry, Mikey. Uh, it’s almost six-thirty, Shea.”

“Gotta go,” the skinny youngster in the Winnipeg Jets jersey said. “See you around, TJ.”

“Yeah,” Mikey said, “I guess I better get going, too.” He sneezed, wiping his nose on the same Boston Bruins’ parka sleeve he’d just dried his face on.

“Meet you back here to walk to school in the morning, like usual?” TJ asked. Mikey lived just down the street, Shea a couple of blocks over. “You can check out the rink with the ice all in.”

“Sure.” The ear muffed redhead let loose another sneeze. “Later, gator!”

Father and son stood watch, as the streaming, steaming water flooded the rink, slowly crystallizing their dreams of backyard shinny.

“So, you two hosers are actually going ahead with it, eh?”

Tom and TJ glanced at their next-door-neighbor, Joe Tucker, who’d wandered into their yard uninvited. Joe ‘Blow’ (as Tom called the whining windbag) had groused his concerns many a time previous about the prospective noise level from having a bunch of kids playing hockey so close to his property and about the possibility of frozen pucks flying into his yard and maybe through his windows. He sniffed at the swirling water, nose held high.

“Yup, we’re almost ready to face-off for the first time,” TJ bragged, beaming up at his dad.

“Humph!” Joe harrumphed. “Just keep the noise and the pucks down, is all I ask. Or I’m calling the cops.” He turned to leave, and slipped on a puddle of ice, landing on his amply padded rear end with a thump.

“Ooohhh!” he moaned, as TJ rushed over to help him back to his feet. Tom kept right on watering the rink. “That’s just great for my aching back,” Joe groaned, “I already can hardly lift a thing at work!”

“That reminds me, Dad,” TJ said, “I better go sand Mrs. Lacombe’s steps before she goes out to get the paper in the morning. It’s pretty icy around here.”

“Merci, TJ!” Hortence Lacombe called from over the neighboring fence on the other side, where she’d been watching the proceedings. “You’re such a good boy to remember an old lady. You’re going to grow up to be another Maurice ‘Rocket’ Richard with your new hockey rink, no?” Rocket Richard was Hortence’s favorite hockey player – her father had taken her to see the hall-of-famer play at the old Montreal Forum when she was just a child, many, many years ago.

“More like Alexandre Bolduc,” TJ replied, naming his favorite player on the current Moose roster.

*

TJ was up at the crack of dawn the following morning, anxious to see the new ice on the new rink. He listened to the sportscast on the radio as he threw on his clothes, cheering when he heard that his beloved Moose had finally broken out of their slump with a late goal in overtime. Then he pulled on his boots and parka and raced out into the backyard.

His father was standing by the hockey rink, his shoulders slumped. “Someone vandalized our new rink last night,” the man groaned. “Poured salt all over the ice – ruined it!”

TJ stared at the cratered and pockmarked ice surface, where the salt had melted through it, at the empty twenty-five pound bag of road salt that had blown into a corner of the messed-up rink. The salt was a commonplace brand that people all over Manitoba used on their driveways and walkways and steps in the wintertime to melt ice and improve traction.

“Telephone, TJ!” his mom called from the backdoor.

It was Mikey Chanowski’s mother, informing TJ that Mikey wouldn’t be stopping by his house to walk with him to school, since he was sick in bed with the flu.

“That’s tough,” TJ responded.

“Yes, it is,” Mikey’s mother agreed. “He was sneezing and coughing so badly when he got back from your house last night, I had to put him straight to bed.”

No sooner had TJ hung up, than the phone rang again. This time it was Shea, asking when he could come over to play hockey.

“Cool your jets, Golden Jet,” TJ replied dejectedly. “Someone ruined the ice.” He sighed. “How was the Moose game, anyway?”

“Ruined the ice!” Shea shrieked over the phone. “Ah, man, that reeks! The Moose game wasn’t bad – same old, same old, ya know.”

TJ hung up for a second time. Then he wandered back out into the backyard to stare at the scarred and pitted ice surface with his father again. “If it’s any consolation, Dad,” he said, “I know who did this.”

Tom glanced down at his son, surprised. “You do? Who?”

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Murders in the Rue Morgue

The mental features discoursed of as the analytical, are, in themselves, but little susceptible of analysis. We appreciate them only in their effects. We know of them, among other things, that they are always to their possessor, when inordinately possessed, a source of the liveliest enjoyment. As the strong man exults in his physical ability, delighting in such exercises as call his muscles into action, so glories the analyst in that moral activity which disentangles. He derives pleasure from even the most trivial occupations bringing his talent into play. He is fond of enigmas, of conundrums, hieroglyphics; exhibiting in his solutions of each a degree of acumen which appears to the ordinary apprehension praeternatural. His results, brought about by the very soul and essence of method, have, in truth, the whole air of intuition.
The faculty of re-solution is possibly much invigorated by mathematical study, and especially by that highest branch of it which, unjustly, and merely on account of its retrograde operations, has been called, as if par excellence, analysis. Yet to calculate is not in itself to analyze. A chess-player, for example, does the one, without effort at the other. It follows that the game of chess, in its effects upon mental character, is greatly misunderstood. I am not now writing a treatise, but simply prefacing a some-what peculiar narrative by observations very much at random; I will, therefore, take occasion to assert that the higher powers of the reflective intellect are more decidedly and more usefully tasked by the unostentatious game of draughts than by all the elaborate frivolity of chess. In this latter, where the pieces have different and bizarre motions, with various and variable values, what is only complex, is mistaken (a not unusual error) for what is profound. The attention is here called powerfully into play. If it flag for an instant, an oversight is committed, resulting in injury or defeat. The possible moves being not only manifold, but involute, the chances of such oversights are multiplied; and in nine cases out of ten, it is the more concentrative rather than the more acute player who conquers. In draughts, on the contrary, where the moves are unique and have but little variation, the probabilities of inadvertence are diminished, and the mere attention being left comparatively unemployed, what advantages are obtained by either party are obtained by superior acumen. To be less abstract, let us suppose a game of draughts where the pieces are reduced to four kings, and where, of course, no oversight is to be expected. It is obvious that here the victory can be decided (the players being at all equal) only by some recherche movement, the result of some strong exertion of the intellect. Deprived of ordinary resources, the analyst throws himself into the spirit of his opponent, identifies himself therewith, and not unfrequently sees thus, at a glance, the sole methods (sometimes indeed absurdly simple ones) by which he may seduce into error or hurry into miscalculation.
Whist has long been known for its influence upon what is termed the calculating power; and men of the highest order of intellect have been known to take an apparently unaccountable delight in it, while eschewing chess as frivolous. Beyond doubt there is nothing of a similar nature so greatly tasking the faculty of analysis. The best chess-player in Christendom may be little more than the best player of chess; but proficiency in whist implies a capacity for success in all these more important undertakings where mind struggles with mind. When I say proficiency, I mean that perfection in the game which includes a comprehension of all the sources whence legitimate advantage may be derived. These are not only manifold, but multiform, and lie frequently among recesses of thought altogether inaccessible to the ordinary understanding. To observe attentively is to remember distinctly; and, so far, the concentrative chess-player will do very well at whist; while the rules of Hoyle (themselves based upon the mere mechanism of the game) are sufficiently and generally comprehensible. Thus to have a retentive memory, and proceed by "the book" are points commonly regarded as the sum total of good playing. But it is in matters beyond the limits of mere rule that the skill of the analyst is evinced. He makes, in silence, a host of observations and inferences. So, perhaps, do his companions; and the difference in the extent of the information obtained, lies not so much in the validity of the inference as in the quality of the observation. The necessary knowledge is that of what to observe. Our player confines himself not at all; nor, because the game is the object, does he reject deductions from things external to the game. He examines the countenance of his partners, comparing it carefully with that of each of his opponents. He considers the mode of assorting the cards in each hand; often counting trump by trump, and honor by honor, through the glances bestowed by their holders upon each. He notes every variation of face as the play progresses, gathering a fund of thought from the differences in the expression of certainty, of surprise, of triumph, or chagrin. From the manner of gathering up a trick he judges whether the person taking it, can make another in the suit. He recognizes what is played through feint, by the manner with which it is thrown upon the table. A casual or inadvertent word; the accidental dropping or turning of a card, with the accompanying anxiety or carelessness in regard to its concealment; the counting of the tricks, with the order of their arrangement; embarrassment, hesitation, eagerness, or trepidation--all afford, to his apparently intuitive perception, indications of the true state of affairs. The first two or three rounds having been played, he is in full possession of the contents of each hand, and thenceforward puts down his cards with as absolute a precision of purpose as if the rest of the party had turned outward the faces of their own.
The analytical power should not be confounded with simple ingenuity; for while the analyst is necessarily ingenious, the ingenious man is often remarkably incapable of analysis. The constructive or combining power, by which ingenuity is usually manifested, and to which the phrenologists (I believe erroneously) have assigned a separate organ, supposing it a primitive faculty, has been so frequently seen in those whose intellect bordered otherwise upon idiocy, as to have attracted general observation among writers on morals. Between ingenuity and the analytic ability there exists a difference far greater, indeed, than that between the fancy and the imagination, but of a character very strictly analogous. It will be found, in fact, that the ingenious are always fanciful, and the truly imaginative never otherwise than analytic.
The narrative which follows will appear to the reader somewhat in the light of a commentary upon the propositions just advanced.
Residing in Paris during the spring and part of the summer of 18--, I there became acquainted with a Monsieur C. Auguste Dupin. This young gentleman was of an excellent, indeed of an illustrious family, but, by a variety of untoward events, had been reduced to such poverty that the energy of his character succumbed beneath it, and he ceased to bestir himself in this world, or to care for the retrieval of his fortunes. By courtesy of his creditors, there still remained in his possession a small remnant of his patrimony; and, upon the income arising from this, he managed, by means of a rigorous economy, to procure the necessities of life, without troubling himself about its superfluities. Books, indeed, were his sole luxuries, and in Paris these are easily obtained.
Our first meeting was at an obscure library in the Rue Montmartre, where the accident of our both being in search of the same very rare and very remarkable volume, brought us into closer communion. We saw each other again and again. I was deeply interested in the little family history which he detailed to me with all that candor which a Frenchman indulges whenever mere self is the theme. I was astonished, too, at the vast extent of his reading; and, above all, I felt my soul enkindled within me by the wild fervor, and the vivid freshness of his imagination. Seeking in Paris the objects I then sought, I felt that the society of such a man would be to me a treasure beyond price; and this feeling I frankly confided to him. It was at length arranged that we should live together during my stay in the city; and as my worldly circumstances were somewhat less embarrassed than his own, I was permitted to be at the expense of renting, and furnishing in a style which suited the rather fantastic gloom of our common temper, a time-eaten and grotesque mansion, long deserted through superstitions into which we did not inquire, and tottering to its fall in a retired and desolate portion of the Faubourg St. Germain.
Had the routine of our life at this place been known to the world, we should have been regarded as madmen--although, perhaps, as madmen of a harmless nature. Our seclusion was perfect. We admitted no visitors. Indeed the locality of our retirement had been carefully kept a secret from my own former associates; and it had been many years since Dupin had ceased to know or be known in Paris. We existed within ourselves alone.
It was a freak of fancy in my friend (for what else shall I call it?) to be enamored of the night for her own sake; and into this bizarrerie, as into all his others, I quietly fell; giving myself up to his wild whims with a perfect abandon. The sable divinity would not herself dwell with us always; but we could counterfeit her presence. At the first dawn of the morning we closed all the massy shutters of our old building; lighted a couple of tapers which, strongly perfumed, threw out only the ghastliest and feeblest of rays. By the aid of these we then busied our souls in dreams--reading, writing, or conversing, until warned by the clock of the advent of the true Darkness. Then we sallied forth into the streets, arm in arm, continuing the topics of the day, or roaming far and wide until a late hour, seeking, amid the wild lights and shadows of the populous city, that infinity of mental excitement which quiet observation can afford.
At such times I could not help remarking and admiring (although from his rich ideality I had been prepared to expect it) a peculiar analytic ability in Dupin. He seemed, too, to take an eager delight in its exercise--if not exactly in its display--and did not hesitate to confess the pleasure thus derived. He boasted to me, with a low chuckling laugh, that most men, in respect to himself, wore windows in their bosoms, and was wont to follow up such assertions by direct and very startling proofs of his intimate knowledge of my own. His manner at these moments was frigid and abstract; his eyes were vacant in expression; while his voice, usually a rich tenor, rose into a treble which would have sounded petulant but for the deliberateness and entire distinctness of this enunciation. Observing him in these moods. I often dwelt meditatively upon the old philosophy of the Bi-Part Soul, and amused myself with the fancy of a double Dupin--the creative and the resolvent.
Let it not be supposed, from what I have just said, that I am detailing any mystery, or penning any romance. What I have described in the Frenchman was merely the result of an excited, or perhaps of a diseased, intelligence. But of the character of his remarks at the periods in question an example will best convey the idea.
We were strolling one night down a long dirty street, in the vicinity of the Palais Royal. Being both, apparently, occupied with thought, neither of us had spoken a syllable for fifteen minutes at least. All at once Dupin broke forth with these words:
"He is a very little fellow, that's true, and would do better for the Theatre des Varietes."
"There can be no doubt of that," I replied, unwittingly, and not at first observing (so much had I been absorbed in reflection) the extraordinary manner in which the speaker had chimed in with my meditations. In an instant afterward I recollected myself, and my astonishment was profound.
"Dupin," said I, gravely, "this is beyond my comprehension. I do not hesitate to say that I am amazed, and can scarcely credit my senses. How was it possible you should know I was thinking of----?" Here I paused, to ascertain beyond a doubt whether he really knew of whom I thought.
"----of Chantilly," said he, "why do you pause? You were remarking to yourself that his diminutive figure unfitted him for tragedy."
This was precisely what had formed the subject of my reflections. Chantilly was a quondam cobbler of the Rue St. Denis, who, becoming stage-mad, had attempted the role of Xerxes, in Crebillon's tragedy so called, and been notoriously Pasquinaded for his pains.
"Tell me, for Heaven's sake," I exclaimed, "the method--if method there is--by which you have been enabled to fathom my soul in this matter." In fact, I was even more startled than I would have been willing to express.
"It was the fruiterer," replied my friend, "who brought you to the conclusion that the mender of soles was not of sufficient height for Xerxes et id genus omne."
"The fruiterer!--you astonish me--I know no fruiterer whomsoever."
"The man who ran up against you as we entered the street--it may have been fifteen minutes ago."
I now remember that, in fact, a fruiterer, carrying upon his head a large basket of apples, had nearly thrown me down, by accident, as we paused from the Rue C---- into the thoroughfare where we stood; but what this had to do with Chantilly I could not possibly understand.
There was not a particle of charlatanerie about Dupin. "I will explain," he said, "and that you may comprehend all clearly, we will first retrace the course of your meditations, from the moment in which I spoke to you until that of the rencontre with the fruiterer in question. The larger links of the chain run thus--Chantilly, Orion, Dr. Nichols, Epicurus, Stereotomy, the street stones, the fruiterer."
There are few persons who have not, at some period of their lives, amused themselves in retracing the steps by which particular conclusions of their own minds have been attained. The occupation is often full of interest; and he who attempts it for the first time is astonished by the apparently illimitable distance and incoherence between the starting-point and the goal. What, then, must have been my amazement, when I heard the Frenchman speak what he had just spoken, and when I could not help acknowledging that he spoke the truth. He continued:
"We had been talking of horses, if I remember aright, just before leaving the Rue C----. This was the last subject we discussed. As we crossed into this street, a fruiterer, with a large basket upon his head, brushing quickly past us, thrust you upon a pile of paving-stones collected at a spot where the causeway is undergoing repair. You stepped upon one of the loose fragments, slipped, slightly strained you ankle, appeared vexed or sulky, muttered a few words, turned to look at the pile, and then proceeded in silence. I was not particularly attentive to what you did; but observation has become with me, of late, a species of necessity.
:You kept your eyes upon the ground--glancing, with a petulant expression, at the holes and ruts in the pavement (so that I saw you were still thinking of the stones), until we reached the little alley called Lamartine, which has been paved, by way of experiment, with the overlapping and riveted blocks. Here your countenance brightened up, and, perceiving you lips move, I could not doubt that you murmured the word 'stereotomy,' a term very affectedly applied to this species of pavement. I knew that you could not say to yourself 'stereotomy' without being brought to think of atomies, and thus of the theories of Epicurus; and since, when we discussed this subject not very long ago, I mentioned to you how singularly, yet with how little notice, the vague guesses of that noble Greek had met with confirmation in the late nebular cosmogony, I felt that you could not avoid casting your eyes upward to the great nebula in Orion, and I certainly expected that you would do so. You did look up; and I was now assured that I correctly followed your steps. But in that bitter tirade upon Chantilly, which appeared in yesterday's 'Musee,' the satirist, making some disgraceful allusions to the cobbler's change of name upon assuming the buskin, quoted a Latin line about which we have often conversed. I mean the line
Perdidit antiquum litera prima sonum.
I had told you that this was in reference to Orion, formerly written Urion; and, from certain pungencies connected with this explanation, I was aware that you could not have forgotten it. It was clear, therefore, that you would not fail to combine the two ideas of Orion and Chantilly. That you did combine them I saw by the character of the smile which passed over your lips. You thought of the poor cobbler's immolation. So far, you had been stooping in your gait; but now I saw you draw yourself up to your full height. I was then sure that you reflected upon the diminutive figure of Chantilly. At this point I interrupted your meditations to remark that as, in fact, he was a very little fellow--that Chantilly--he would not do better at the Theatre des Varuetes."
Not long after this, we were looking over an evening edition of the Gazette des Tribunaux, when the following paragraphs arrested our attention.
"EXTRAORDINARY MURDERS.--This morning, about three o'clock, the inhabitants of the Quartier St. Roch were roused from sleep by a succession of terrific shrieks, issuing, apparently, from the fourth story of a house in the Rue Morgue, known to be in the sole occupancy of one Madame L'Espanaye, and her daughter, Mademoiselle Camille L'Espanaye. After some delay, occasioned by a fruitless attempt to procure admission in the usual manner, the gateway was broken in with a crowbar, and eight or ten of the neighbors entered, accompanied by two gendarmes. By this time the cries had ceased; but, as the party rushed up the first flight of stairs, two or more rough voices, in angry contention, were distinguished, and seemed to proceed from the upper part of the house. As the second landing was reached, these sounds, also, had ceased, and every thing remained perfectly quiet. The party spread themselves, and hurried from room to room. Upon arriving at a large back chamber in the fourth story (the door of which, being found locked, with the key inside, was forced open), a spectacle presented itself which struck every one present not less with horror than with astonishment.
"The apartment was in the wildest disorder--the furniture broken and thrown about in all directions. There was only one bedstead; and from this the bed had been removed, and thrown into the middle of the floor. On the chair lay a razor, besmeared with blood. On the hearth were two or three long and thick tresses of gray human hair, also dabbled with blood, and seeming to have been pulled out by the roots. Upon the floor were found four Napoleons, an ear-ring of topaz, three large silver spoons, three smaller of metal d'Alger, and two bags, containing nearly four thousand francs in gold. The drawers of a bureau, which stood in one corner, were open, and had been, apparently, rifled, although many articles still remained in them. A small iron safe was discovered under the bed (not under the bedstead). It was open, with the key still in the door. It had no contents beyond a few old letters, and other papers of little consequence.
"Of Madame L'Espanaye no traces were here seen; but an unusual quantity of soot being observed in the fire-place, a search was made in the chimney, and (horrible to relate!) the corpse of the daughter, head downward, was dragged therefrom; it having been thus forced up the narrow aperture for a considerable distance. The body was quite warm. Upon examining it, many excoriations were perceived, no doubt occasioned by the violence with which it had been thrust up and disengaged. Upon the face were many severe scratches, and, upon the throat, dark bruises, and deep indentations of finger nails, as if the deceased had been throttled to death.
"After a thorough investigation of every portion of the house without farther discovery, the party made its way into a small paved yard in the rear of the building, where lay the corpse of the old lady, with her throat so entirely cut that, upon an attempt to raise here, the head fell off. The body, as well as the head, was fearfully mutilated--the former so much so as scarcely to retain any semblance of humanity.
"To this horrible mystery there is not as yet, we believe, the slightest clew."
The next day's paper had these additional particulars:
"The Tragedy in the Rue Morgue.--Many individuals have been examined in relation to this most extraordinary and frightful affair," [the word 'affaire' has not yet, in France, that levity of import which it conveys with us] "but nothing whatever has transpired to throw light upon it. We give below all the material testimony elicited.
"Pauline Dubourg, laundress, deposes that she has known both the deceased for three years, having washed for them during that period. The old lady and her daughter seemed on good terms--very affectionate toward each other. They were excellent pay. Could not speak in regard to their mode or means of living. Believe that Madame L. told fortunes for a living. Was reputed to have money put by. Never met any person in the house when she called for the clothes or took them home. Was sure that they had no servant in employ. There appeared to be no furniture in any part of the building except in the fourth story.
"Pierre Moreau, tobacconist, deposes that he has been in the habit of selling small quantities of tobacco and snuff to Madam L'Espanaye for nearly four years. Was born in the neighborhood, and has always resided there. The deceased and her daughter had occupied the house in which the corpses were found, for more than six years. It was formerly occupied by a jeweller, who under-let the upper rooms to various persons. The house was the property of Madame L. She became dissatisfied with the abuse of the premises by her tenant, and moved into them herself, refusing to let any portion. The old lady was childish. Witness had seen the daughter some five or six time during the six years. The two lived an exceedingly retired life--were reputed to have money. Had heard it said among the neighbors that Madame L. told fortunes--did not believe it. Had never seen any person enter the door except the old lady and her daughter, a porter once or twice, and a physician some eight or ten times.
"Many other persons, neighbors, gave evidence to the same effect. No one was spoken of as frequenting the house. It was not known whether there were any living connections of Madame L. and her daughter. The shutters of the front windows were seldom opened. Those in the rear were always closed, with the exception of the large back room, fourth story. The house was a good house--not very old.
"Isidore Muset, gendarme, deposes that he was called to the house about three o'clock in the morning, and found some twenty or thirty persons at the gateway, endeavoring to gain admittance. Forced it open, at length, with a bayonet--not with a crowbar. Had but little difficulty in getting it open, on account of its being a double or folding gate, and bolted neither at bottom nor top. The shrieks were continued until the gate was forced--and then suddenly ceased. They seemed to be screams of some person (or persons) in great agony--were loud and drawn out, not short and quick. Witness led the way up stairs. Upon reaching the first landing, heard two voices in loud and angry contention--the one a gruff voice, the other much shriller--a very strange voice. Could distinguish some words of the former, which was that of a Frenchman. Was positive that it was not a woman's voice. Could distinguish the words 'sacre' and 'diable.' The shrill voice was that of a foreigner. Could not be sure whether it was the voice of a man or of a woman. Could not make out what was said but believed the language to be Spanish. The state of the room and of the bodies was described by this witness as we described them yesterday.
"Henri Duval, a neighbor, and by trade a silver-smith, deposes that he was one of the party who first entered the house. Corroborates the testimony of Muset in general. As soon as they forced an entrance, they reclosed the door, to keep out the crowd, which collected very fast, notwithstanding the lateness of the hour. The shrill voice, this witness thinks, was that of an Italian. Was certain it was not French. Could not be sure that it was a man's voice. It might have been a woman's. Was not acquainted with the Italian language. Could not distinguish the words, but was convinced by the intonation that the speaker was an Italian. Knew Madame L. and her daughter. Had conversed with both frequently. Was sure that the shrill voice was not that of either of the deceased.
"---- Odenheimer, restauranteur.--This witness volunteered his testimony. Not speaking French, was examined through an interpreter. Is a native of Amsterdam. Was passing the house at the time of the shrieks. They lasted for several minutes--probably ten. They were long and loud--very awful and distressing. Was one of those who entered the building. Corroborated the previous evidence in every respect but one. Was sure that the shrill voice was that of a man--of a Frenchman. Could not distinguish the words uttered. They were loud and quick--unequal--spoken apparently in fear as well as in anger. The voice was harsh--not so much shrill as harsh. Could not call it a shrill voice. The gruff voice said repeatedly, 'sacre,' 'diable,' and once 'mon Dieu.'
"Jules Mignaud, banker, of the firm of Mignaud et Fils, Rue Deloraine. Is the elder Mignaud. Madame L'Espanaye had some property. Had opened an account with his banking house in the spring of the year ---- (eight years previously). Made frequent deposits in small sums. Had checked for nothing until the third day before her death, when she took out in person the sum of 4000 francs. This sum was paid in gold, and a clerk sent home with the money.
"Adolphe Le Bon, clerk to Mignaud et Fils, deposes that on the day in question, about noon, he accompanied Madame L'Espanaye to her residence with the 4000 francs, put up in two bags. Upon the door being opened, Mademoiselle L. appeared and took from his hands one of the bags, while the old lady relieved him of the other. He then bowed and departed. Did not see any person in the street at the time. It is a by-street--very lonely.
"William Bird, tailor, deposes that he was one of the party who entered the house. Is an Englishman. Has lived in Paris two years. Was one of the first to ascend the stairs. Heard the voices in contention. The gruff voice was that of a Frenchman. Could make out several words, but cannot now remember all. Heard distinctly 'sacre' and 'mon Dieu.' There was a sound at the moment as if of several persons struggling--a scraping and scuffling sound. The shrill voice was very loud--louder than the gruff one. Is sure that it was not the voice of an Englishman. Appeared to be that of a German. Might have been a woman's voice. Does not understand German.
"Four of the above-named witnesses, being recalled, deposed that the door of the chamber in which was found the body of Mademoiselle L. was locked on the inside when the party reached it. Every thing was perfectly silent--no groans or noises of any kind. Upon forcing the door no person was seen. The windows, both of the back and front room, were down and firmly fastened from within. A door between the two rooms was closed but not locked. The door leading from the front room into the passage was locked, with the key on the inside. A small room in the front of the house, on the fourth story, at the head of the passage, was open, the door being ajar. This room was crowded with old beds, boxes, and so forth. These were carefully removed and searched. There was not an inch of any portion of the house which was not carefully searched. Sweeps were sent up and down the chimneys. The house was a four-story one, with garrets (mansardes). A trap-door on the roof was nailed down very securely--did not appear to have been opened for years. The time elapsing between the hearing of the voices in contention and the breaking open of the room door was variously stated by the witnesses. Some made it as short as three minutes--some as long as five. The door was opened with difficulty.
"Alfonzo Garcio, undertaker, deposes that he resides in the Rue Morgue. Is a native of Spain. Was one of the party who entered the house. Did not proceed up stairs. Is nervous, and was apprehensive of the consequences of agitation. Heard the voices in contention. The gruff voice was that of a Frenchman. Could not distinguish what was said. The shrill voice was that of an Englishman--is sure of this. Does not understand the English language, but judges by the intonation.
"Alberto Montani, confectioner, deposes that he was among the first to ascend the stairs. Heard the voices in question. The gruff voice was that of a Frenchman. Distinguished several words. The speaker appeared to be expostulating. Could not make out the words of the shrill voice. Spoke quick and unevenly. Thinks it is the voice of a Russian. Corroborates the general testimony. Is an Italian. Never conversed with a native of Russia.
"Several witnesses, recalled, here testified that the chimneys of all the rooms of the fourth story were too narrow to admit the passage of a human being. By 'sweeps' were meant cylindrical sweeping-brushes, such as are employed by those who clean chimneys. These brushes were passed up and down every flue in the house. There is no back passage by which any one could have descended while the party proceeded up stairs. The body of Mademoiselle L'Espanaye was so firmly wedged in the chimney that it could not be got down until four or five of the party united their strength.
"Paul Dumas, physician, deposes that he was called to view the bodies about daybreak. They were both then lying on the sacking of the bedstead in the chamber where Mademoiselle L. was found. The corpse of the young lady was much bruised and excoriated. The fact that it had been thrust up the chimney would sufficiently account for these appearances. The throat was greatly chafed. There were several deep scratches just below the chin, together with a series of livid spots which were evidently the impressions of fingers. The face was fearfully discolored, and the eyeballs protruded. The tongue had been partially bitten through. A large bruise was discovered upon the pit of the stomach, produced, apparently, by the pressure of a knee. In the opinion of M. Dumas, Mademoiselle L'Espanaye had been throttled to death by some person or persons unknown. The corpse of the mother was horribly mutilated. All the bones of the right leg and arm were more or less shattered. The left tibia much splintered, as well as all the ribs of the left side. Whole body dreadfully bruised and discolored. It was not possible to say how the injuries had been inflicted. A heavy club of wood, or a broad bar of iron--a chair--any large, heavy, and obtuse weapon would have produced such results, if wielded by the hands of a very powerful man. No woman could have inflicted the blows with any weapon. The head of the deceased, when seen by witness, was entirely separated from the body, and was also greatly shattered. The throat had evidently been cut with some very sharp instrument--probably with a razor.
"Alexandre Etienne, surgeon, was called with M. Dumas to view the bodies. Corroborated the testimony, and the opinions of M. Dumas.
"Nothing further of importance was elicited, although several other persons were examined. A murder so mysterious, and so perplexing in all its particulars, was never before committed in Paris--if indeed a murder had been committed at all. The police are entirely at fault--an unusual occurrence in affairs of this nature. There is not, however, the shadow of a clew apparent."
The evening edition of the paper stated that the greatest excitement still continued in the quartier St. Roch--that the premises in question had been carefully re-searched, and fresh examinations of witnesses instituted, but all to no purpose. A postscript, however, mentioned that Adolphe Le Bon had been arrested and imprisoned--although nothing appeared to criminate him beyond the facts already detailed.
Dupin seemed singularly interested in the progress of this affair--at least so I judged from his manner, for he made no comments. It was only after the announcement that Le Bon had been imprisoned, that he asked me my opinion respecting the murders.
I could merely agree with all Paris in considering them an insoluble mystery. I saw no means by which it would be possible to trace the murderer.
"We must not judge of the means," said Dupin, "by this shell of an examination. The Parisian police, so much extolled for acumen, are cunning, but no more. There is no method in their proceedings, beyond the method of the moment. They make a vast parade of measures; but, not infrequently, these are so ill-adapted to the objects proposed, as to put us in mind of Monsieur Jourdain's calling for his robe-de-chambre--pour mieux entendre la musique. The results attained by them are not unfrequently surprising, but for the most part, are brought about by simple diligence and activity. When these qualities are unavailing, their schemes fail. Vidocq, for example, was a good guesser, and the persevering man. But, without educated thought, he erred continually by the very intensity of his investigations. He impaired his vision by holding the object too close. He might see, perhaps, one or two points with unusual clearness, but in so doing he, necessarily, lost sight of the matter as a whole. Thus there is such a thing as being too profound. Truth is not always in a well. In fact, as regards the more important knowledge, I do believe that she is invariably superficial. The depth lies in the valleys where we seek her, and not upon the mountain-tops where she is found. The modes and sources of this kind of error are well typified in the contemplation of the heavenly bodies. To look at a star by glances--to view it in a side-long way, by turning toward it the exterior portions of the retina (more susceptible of feeble impressions of light than the interior), is to behold the star distinctly--is to have the best appreciation of its lustre--a lustre which grows dim just in proportion as we turn our vision fully upon it. A greater number of rays actually fall upon the eye in the latter case, but in the former, there is the more refined capacity for comprehension. By undue profundity we perplex and enfeeble thought; and it is possible to make even Venus herself vanish from the firmament by a scrutiny too sustained, too concentrated, or too direct.
"As for these murders, let us enter into some examinations for ourselves, before we make up an opinion respecting them. An inquiry will afford us amusement," [I thought this an odd term, so applied, but said nothing] "and besides, Le Bon once rendered me a service for which I am not ungrateful. We will go and see the premises with our own eyes. I know G----, the Prefect of Police, and shall have no difficulty in obtaining the necessary permission."
The permission was obtained, and we proceeded at once to the Rue Morgue. This is one of those miserable thoroughfares which intervene between the Rue Richelieu and the Rue St. Roch. It was late in the afternoon when we reached it, as this quarter is at a great distance from that in which we resided. The house was readily found; for there were still many persons gazing up at the closed shutters, with an objectless curiosity, from the opposite side of the way. It was an ordinary Parisian house, with a gateway, on one side of which was glazed watch-box, with a sliding panel in the window, indicating a loge de concierge. Before going in we walked up the street, turned down an alley, and then, again turning, passed in the rear of the building--Dupin, meanwhile, examining the whole neighborhood, as well as the house, with a minuteness of attention for which I could see no possible object.
Retracing our steps we came again to the front of the dwelling, rang, and, having shown our credentials, were admitted by the agents in charge. We went up stairs--into the chamber where the body of Mademoiselle L'Espanaye had been found, and where both the deceased still lay. The disorders of the room had, as usual, been suffered to exist. I saw nothing beyond what had been stated in the Gazette des Tribunaux. Dupin scrutinized every thing--not excepting the bodies of the victims. We then went into the other rooms, and into the yard; a gendarme accompanying us throughout. The examination occupied us until dark, when we took our departure. On our way home my companion stepped in for a moment at the office of one of the daily papers.
I have said that the whims of my friend were manifold, and that Je les menagais:--for this phrase there is no English equivalent. It was his humor, now, to decline all conversation on the subject of the murder, until about noon the next day. He then asked me, suddenly, if I had observed any thing peculiar at the scene of the atrocity.
There was something in his manner of emphasizing the word "peculiar," which caused me to shudder without knowing why.
"No, nothing peculiar," I said; "nothing more, at least, than we both saw stated in the paper."
"The Gazette," he replied, "has not entered, I fear, into the unusual horror of the thing. But dismiss the idle opinions of this print. It appears to me that this mystery is considered insoluble, for the very reason which should cause it to be regarded as easy of solution--I mean for the outre character of its features. The police are confounded by the seeming absence of motive--not for the murder itself--but for the atrocity of the murder. They are puzzled, too, by the seeming impossibility of reconciling the voices heard in contention, with the facts that no one was discovered upstairs but the assassinated Mademoiselle L'Espanaye, and that there were no means of egress without the notice of the party ascending. The wild disorder of the room; the corpse thrust, with the head downward, up the chimney; the frightful mutilation of the body of the old lady; these considerations, with those just mentioned, and others which I need not mention, have sufficed to paralyze the powers, by putting completely at fault the boasted acumen, of the government agents. They have fallen into the gross but common error of confounding the unusual with the abstruse. But it is by these deviations from the plane of the ordinary, that reason feels its way, if at all, in its search for the true. In investigations such as we are now pursuing, it should not be so much asked 'what has occurred,' as 'what has occurred that has never occurred before.' In fact, the facility with which I shall arrive, or have arrived, at the solution of this mystery, is in the direct ration of its apparent insolubility in the eyes of the police." I stared at the speaker in mute astonishment.
"I am now awaiting," continued he, looking toward the door of our apartment--"I am now awaiting a person who, although perhaps not the perpetrator of these butcheries, must have been in some measure implicated in their perpetration. Of the worst portion of the crimes committed, it is probable that he is innocent. I hope that I am right in this supposition; for upon it I build my expectation of reading the entire riddle. I look for the man here--in this room--every moment. It is true that he may not arrive; but the probability is that he will. Should he come, it will be necessary to detain him. Here are pistols; and we both know how to use them when occasion demands their use."
I took the pistols, scarcely knowing what I did, or believing what I heard, while Dupin went on, very much as if in a soliloquy. I have already spoken of his abstract manner at such times. His discourse was addressed to myself; but his voice, although by no means loud, had that intonation which is commonly employed in speaking to some one at a great distance. His eyes, vacant in expression, regarded only the wall.
"That the voices heard in contention," he said," by the party upon the stairs, were not the voices of the women themselves, was fully proved by the evidence. This relieves us of all doubt upon the question whether the old lady could have first destroyed the daughter, and afterward have committed suicide. I speak of this point chiefly for the sake of method; for the strength of Madame L'Espanaye would have been utterly unequal to the task of thrusting her daughter's corpse up the chimney as it was found; and the nature of the wounds upon her own person entirely precludes the idea of self-destruction. Murder, then, has been committed by some third party; and the voices of this third party were those heard in contention. Let me now advert--not to the whole testimony respecting these voices--but to what was peculiar in that testimony. Did you observe any thing peculiar about it?"
I remarked that, while all the witnesses agreed in supposing the gruff voice to be that of a Frenchman, there was much disagreement in regard to the shrill, or, as one individual termed it, the harsh voice.
"That was the evidence itself," said Dupin, "but it was not the peculiarity of the evidence. You have observed nothing distinctive. Yet there was something to be observed. The witnesses, as you remarked, agreed about the gruff voice; they were here unanimous. But in regard to the shrill voice, the peculiarity is--not that they disagreed--but that, while an Italian, an Englishman, a Spaniard, a Hollander, and a Frenchman attempted to describe it, each one spoke of it as that of a foreigner. Each is sure that it was not the voice of one of his own countrymen. Each likens it--not to the voice of an individual of any nation with whose language he is conversant--but the converse. The Frenchman supposes it is the voice of a Spaniard, and 'might have distinguished some words had he been acquainted with the Spanish.' The Dutchman maintains it to have been that of a Frenchman; but we find it stated that 'not understanding French this witness was examined through an interpreter.' The Englishman thinks it the voice of a German, and 'does not understand German.' The Spaniard 'is sure' that it was that of an Englishman, but 'judges by the intonation' altogether, 'as he has no knowledge of the English.' The Italian believes it the voice of a Russian, but 'has never conversed with a native of Russia.' A second Frenchman differs, moreover, with the first, and is positive that the voice was that of an Italian; but, not being cognizant of that tongue, is, like the Spaniard, 'convinced by the intonation.' Now, how strangely unusual must that voice have really been, about which such testimony as this could have been elicited!--in whose tones, even, denizens of the five great divisions of Europe could recognize nothing familiar! You will say that it might have been the voice of an Asiatic--of an African. Neither Asiatics nor Africans abound in Paris; but, without denying the inference, I will now merely call your attention to three points. The voice is termed by one witness 'harsh rather than shrill.' It is represented by two others to have been 'quick and unequal.' No words--no sounds resembling words--were by any witness mentioned as distinguishable.
"I know not," continued Dupin, "what impression I may have made, so far, upon your own understanding; but I do not hesitate to say that legitimate deductions even from this portion of the testimony--the portion respecting the gruff and shrill voices--are in themselves sufficient to engender a suspicion which should give direction to all farther progress in the investigation of the mystery. I said 'legitimate deductions'; but my meaning is not thus fully expressed. I designed to imply that the deductions are the sole proper ones, and that the suspicion arises inevitably from them as the single result. What the suspicion is, however, I will not say just yet. I merely wish you to bear in mind that, with myself, it was sufficiently forcible to give a definite form--a certain tendency--to my inquiries in the chamber.
"Let us now transport ourselves, in fancy, to this chamber. What shall we first seek here? The means of egress employed by the murderers. It is not too much to say that neither of us believe in praeternatural events. Madame and Mademoiselle L'Espanaye were not destroyed by spirits. The doers of the deed were material and escaped materially. Then how? Fortunately there is but one mode of reasoning upon the point, and that mode must lead us to a definite decision. Let us examine, each by each, the possible means of egress. It is clear that the assassins were in the room where Mademoiselle L'Espanaye was found, or at least in the room adjoining, when the party ascended the stairs. It is, then, only from these two apartments that we have to seek issues. The police have laid bare the floors, the ceiling, and the masonry of the walls, in every direction. No secret issues could have escaped their vigilance. But, not trusting to their eyes, I examined with my own. There were, then, no secret issues. Both doors leading from the rooms into the passage were securely locked, with the keys inside. Let us turn to the chimneys. These, although of ordinary width for some eight or ten feet above the hearths, will not admit, throughout their extent, the body of a large cat. The impossibility of egress, by means already stated, being thus absolute, we are reduced to the windows. Through those of the front room no one could have escaped without notice from the crowd in the street. The murderers must have passed, then, through those of the back room. Now, brought to this conclusion in so unequivocal a manner as we are, it is not our part, as reasoners, to reject it on account of apparent impossibilities. It is only left for us to prove that these apparent 'impossibilities' are, in reality, not such.
"There are two windows in the chamber. One of them is unobstructed by furniture, and is wholly visible. The lower portion of the other is hidden from view by the head of the unwieldy bedstead which is thrust close up against it. The former was found securely fastened from within. It resisted the utmost force of those who endeavor to raise it. A large gimlet-hole had been pierced in its frame to the left, and a very stout nail was found fitted therein, nearly to the head. Upon examining the other window, a similar nail was seen similarly fitted in it; and a vigorous attempt to raise this sash failed also. The police were now entirely satisfied that egress had not been in these directions. And, therefore, it was thought a matter of supererogation to withdraw the nails and open the windows.
"My own examination was somewhat more particular, and was so for the reason I have just given--because here it was, I knew, that all apparent impossibilities must be proved to be not such in reality.
"I proceeded to think thus--a posteriori. The murderers did escape from one of these windows. This being so, they could not have re-fastened the sashes from the inside, as they were found fastened;--the consideration which put a stop, through its obviousness, to the scrutiny of the police in this quarter. Yet the sashes were fastened. The must, then, have the power of fastening themselves. There was no escape from this conclusion. I stepped to the unobstructed casement, withdrew the nail with some difficulty, and attempted to raise the sash. It resisted all my efforts, as I had anticipated. A concealed spring must, I now knew, exist; and this corroboration of my idea convinced me that my premises, at least, were correct, however mysterious still appeared the circumstances attending the nails. A careful search soon brought to light the hidden spring. I pressed it, and, satisfied with the discovery, forbore to upraise the sash.
"I now replaced the nail and regarded it attentively. A person passing out through this window might have reclosed it, and the spring would have caught--but the nail could not have been replaced. The conclusion was plain, and again narrowed in the field of my investigations. The assassins must have escaped through the other window. Supposing, then, the springs upon each sash to be the same, as was probable, there must be found a difference between the nails, or at least between the modes of their fixture. Getting upon the sacking of the bedstead, I looked over the head-board minutely at the second casement. Passing my hand down behind the board, I readily discovered and pressed the spring, which was, as I had supposed, identical in character with its neighbor. I now looked at the nail. It was as stout as the other, and apparently fitted in the same manner--driven in nearly up to the head.
"You will say that I was puzzled; but, if you think so, you must have misunderstood the nature of the inductions. To use a sporting phrase, I had not been once 'at fault.' The scent had never for an instant been lost. There was no flaw in any link in the chain. I had traced the secret to its ultimate result,--and that result was the nail. It had, I say, in every respect, the appearance of its fellow in the other window; but this fact was an absolute nullity (conclusive as it might seem to be) when compared with the consideration that here, at this point, terminated the clew. 'There must be something wrong,' I said, 'about the nail.' I touched it; and the head, with about a quarter of an inch of the shank, came off in my fingers. The rest of the shank was in the gimlet-hole, where it had been broken off. The fracture was an old one (for its edges were incrusted with rust), and had apparently been accomplished by the blow of a hammer, which had partially imbedded, in the top of the bottom sash, the head portion of the nail. I now carefully replaced this head portion in the indentation whence I had taken it, and the resemblance to a perfect nail was complete--the fissure was invisible. Pressing the spring, I gently raised the sash for a few inches; the head went up with it, remaining firm in its bed. I closed the window, and the semblance of the whole nail was again perfect.
"This riddle, so far, was now unriddled. The assassin had escaped through the window which looked upon the bed. Dropping of its own accord upon his exit (or perhaps purposely closed), it had become fastened by the spring; and it was the retention of this spring which had been mistaken by the police for that of the nail,--farther inquiry being thus considered unnecessary.
"The next question is that of the mode of descent. Upon this point I had been satisfied in my walk with you around the building. About five feet and a half from the casement in question there runs a lightning-rod. From this rod it would have been impossible for any one to reach to the window itself, to say nothing of entering it. I observed, however, that the shutters of the fourth story were of the peculiar kind called by Parisian carpenters ferrades--a kind rarely employed at the present day, but frequently seen upon very old mansions at Lyons and Bordeaux. They are in the form of an ordinary door (a single, not a folding door), except that the lower half is latticed or worked in open trellis--thus affording an excellent hold for the hands. In the present instance these shutters are fully three feet and a half broad. When we saw them from the rear of the house, they were both about half open--that is to say they stood off at right angles from the wall. It is probable that the police, as well as myself, examined the back of the tenement; but, if so, in looking at these ferrades in the line of their breadth (as they must have done), they did not perceive the great breadth itself, or, at all events, failed to take it into due consideration. In fact, having once satisfied themselves that no egress could have been made in this quarter, they would naturally bestow here a very cursory examination. It was clear to me, however, that the shutter belonging to the window at the head of the bed, would, if swung fully back to the wall, reach to within two feet of the lightning-rod. It was also evident that, be exertion of a very unusual degree of activity and courage, an entrance into the window, from the rod, might have been thus effected. By reaching to the distance of two feet and a half (we now suppose the shutter open to its whole extent) a robber might have taken a firm grasp upon the trellis-work. Letting go, then, his hold upon the rod, placing his feet securely against the wall, and springing boldly from it, he might have swung the shutter so as to close it, and, if we imagine the window open at the time, might even have swung himself into the room.
"I wish you to bear especially in mind that I have spoken of a very unusual degree of activity as requisite to success in so hazardous and so difficult a feat. It is my design to show you first, that the thing might possibly have been accomplished:--but, secondly and chiefly, I wish to impress upon your understanding the very extraordinary--the almost praeternatural character of that agility which could have accomplished it.
"You will say, no doubt, using the language of the law, that to make out my case, I should rather undervalue than insist upon a full estimation of the activity required in this matter. This may be the practice in the law, but it is not the usage of reason. My ultimate objet is only the truth. My immediate purpose is to lead you to place in juxtaposition, that very unusual activity of which I have just spoken, with that very peculiar shrill (or harsh) and unequal voice, about whose nationality no two persons could be found to agree, and in whose utterance no syllabification could be detected."
At these words a vague and half-formed conception of the meaning of Dupin flitted over in my mind. I seemed to be upon the verge of comprehension, without power to comprehend--as men, at times, find themselves upon the brink of remembrance, without being able, in the end, to remember. My friend went on with his discourse.
"You will see," he said, "that I have shifted the question from the mode of egress to that of ingress. It was my design to convey the idea that both were effected in the same manner, at the same point. Let us now revert to the interior of the room. Let us survey the appearances here. The drawers of the bureau, it is said, had been rifled, although many articles of apparel still remained within them. The conclusion here is absurd. It is a mere guess--a very silly one--and no more. How are we to know that the articles found in the drawers were not all these drawers had originally contained? Madame L'Espanaye and her daughter lived an exceedingly retired life--saw no company--seldom went out--had little use for the numerous changes of habiliment. Those found were at least of as good quality as any likely to be possessed by these ladies. If a thief had taken any, why did he not take the best--why did he not take all? In a word, why did he abandon four thousand francs in gold to encumber himself with a bundle of linen? The gold was abandoned. Nearly the whole sum mentioned by Monsieur Mignaud, the banker, was discovered, in bags, upon the floor. I wish you therefore, to discard from your thoughts the blundering idea of motive, engendered in the brains of the police by that portion of the evidence which speaks of money delivered at the door of the house. Coincidences ten times as remarkable as this (the delivery of the money, and murder committed within these days upon the party receiving it), happen to all of us every hour of our lives, without attracting even momentary notice. Coincidences, in general, are great stumbling-blocks in the way of that class of thinkers who have been educated to know nothing of the theory of probabilities--that theory to which the most glorious objects of human research are indebted for the most glorious of illustration. In the present instance, had the gold been gone, the fact of its delivery three days before would have formed something more than a coincidence. It would have been corroborative of this idea of motive. But, under the real circumstances of the case, if we are to suppose gold the motive of this outrage, we must also imagine the perpetrator so vacillating an idiot as to have abandoned his gold and his motive altogether.
"Keeping now steadily in mind the points to which I have drawn your attention--that peculiar voice, that unusual agility, and that startling absence of motive in a murder so singularly atrocious as this--let us glance at the butchery itself. Here is a woman strangled to death by manual strength, and thrust up a chimney head downward. Ordinary assassins employ no such mode of murder as this. Least of all, do they thus dispose of the murdered. In this manner of thrusting the corpse up the chimney, you will admit that there was something excessively outre--something altogether irreconcilable with our common notions of human action, even when we suppose the actors the most depraved of men. Think, too, how great must have been that strength which could have thrust the body up such an aperture so forcibly that the united vigor of several persons was found barely sufficient to drag it down!
"Turn, now, to other indications of the employment of a vigor most marvellous. On the hearth were thick tresses--very thick tresses--of gray human hair. These had been torn out by the roots. You are aware of the great force necessary in tearing thus from the head even twenty or thirty hairs together. You saw the locks in question as well as myself. Their roots (a hideous sight!) were clotted with fragments of the flesh of the scalp--sure tokens of the prodigious power which had been exerted in uprooting perhaps half a million of hairs at a time. The throat of the old lady was not merely cut, but the head absolutely severed from the body: the instrument was a mere razor. I wish you also to look at the brutal ferocity of these deeds. Of the bruises upon the body of Madame L'Espanaye I do not speak. Monsieur Dumas, and his worthy coadjutor Monsieur Etienne, have pronounced that they were inflicted by some obtuse instrument; and so far these gentlemen are very correct. The obtuse instrument was clearly the stone pavement in the yard, upon which the victim had fallen from the window which looked in upon the bed. This idea, however simple it may now seem, escaped the police for the same reason that the breadth of the shutters escaped them--because, by the affair of the nails, their perceptions had been hermetically sealed against the possibility of the windows having ever been opened at all.
"If now, in addition to all these things, you have properly reflected upon the odd disorder of the chamber, we have gone so far as to combine the ideas of an agility astounding, a strength superhuman, a ferocity brutal, a butchery without motive, a grotesquerie in horror absolutely alien from humanity, and a voice foreign in tone to the ears of men of many nations, and devoid of all distinct or intelligible syllabification. What result, then, has ensued? What impression have I made upon your fancy?"
I felt a creeping of the flesh as Dupin asked me the question. "A madman," I said, "has done this deed--some raving maniac, escaped from a neighboring Maison de Sante."
"In some respects," he replied, "your idea is not irrelevant. But the voices of madmen, even in their wildest paroxysms, are never found to tally with that peculiar voice heard upon the stairs. Madmen are of some nation, and their language, however incoherent in its words, has always the coherence of syllabification. Besides, the hair of a madman is not such as I now hold in my hand. I disentangled this little tuft from the rigidly clutched fingers of Madame L'Espanaye. Tell me what you can make of it."
"Dupin!" I said, completely unnerved; "this hair is most unusual--this is no human hair."
"I have not asserted that it is," said he; "but, before we decide this point, I wish you to glance at the little sketch I have here traced upon this paper. It is a facsimile drawing of what has been described in one portion of the testimony as 'dark bruises and deep indentations of finger nails' upon the throat of Mademoiselle L'Espanaye, and in another (by Messrs. Dumas and Etienne) as a 'series of livid spots, evidently the impression of fingers.'
"You will perceive," continued my friend, spreading out the paper upon the table before us, "that this drawing gives the idea of a firm and fixed hold. There is no slipping apparent. Each finger has retained--possibly until the death of the victim--the fearful grasp by which it originally imbedded itself. Attempt, now, to place all your fingers, at the same time, in the respective impressions as you see them."
I made the attempt in vain.
"We are possibly not giving this matter a fair trial," he said. "The paper is spread out upon a plane surface; but the human throat is cylindrical. Here is a billet of wood, the circumference of which is about that of the throat. Wrap the drawing around it, and try the experiment again."
I did so; but the difficulty was even more obvious than before. "This," I said, "is the mark of no human hand."
"Read now," replied Dupin, "this passage from Cuvier."
It was a minute anatomical and generally descriptive account of the large fulvous Ourang-Outang of the East Indian Islands. The gigantic stature, the prodigious strength and activity, the wild ferocity, and the imitative propensities of these mammalia are sufficiently well known to all. I understood the full horrors of the murder at once.
"The description of the digits," said I, as I made an end of the reading, "is in exact accordance with this drawing. I see no animal but an Ourang-Outang, of the species here mentioned, could have impressed the indentations as you have traced them. This tuft of tawny hair, too, is identical in character with that of the beast Cuvier. But I cannot possibly comprehend the particulars of this frightful mystery. Besides, there were two voices heard in contention, and one of them was unquestionably the voice of a Frenchman."
"True; and you will remember an expression attributed almost unanimously, by the evidence, to this voice,--the expression, 'mon Dieu!' This, under the circumstances, has been justly characterized by one of the witnesses (Montani, the confectioner) as an expression of remonstrance or expostulation. Upon these two words, therefore, I have mainly built my hopes of a full solution of the riddle. A Frenchman was cognizant of the murder. It is possible--indeed it is far more than probable--that he was innocent of all participation in the bloody transactions which took place. The Ourang-Outang may have escaped from him. He may have traced it to the chamber; but, under the agitating circumstances which ensued, he could never have recaptured it. It is still at large. I will not pursue these guesses--for I have no right to call them more--since the shades of reflection upon which they are based are scarcely of sufficient depth to be appreciated by my own intellect, and since I could not pretend to make them intelligible to the understanding of another. We will call them guesses, then, and speak of them as such. If the Frenchman in question is indeed, as I suppose, innocent of this atrocity, this advertisement, which I left last might, upon our return home, at the office of Le Monde (a paper devoted to the shipping interest, and much sought by sailors), will bring him to our residence."
He handed me a paper, and I read thus:
"CAUGHT--In the Bois de Boulogne, early in the morning of the ---- inst. (the morning of the murder), a very large, tawny Ourang-Outang of the Bornese species. The owner (who is ascertained to be a sailor, belonging to a Maltese vessel) may have the animal again, upon identifying it satisfactorily, and paying a few charges arising from its capture and keeping. Call at No. ---- Rue ----, Faubourg St. Germain--au troisieme."
"How was it possible," I asked, "that you should know the man to be a sailor, and belonging to a Maltese vessel?"
"I do not know it," said Dupin. "I am not sure of it. Here, however, is a small piece of ribbon, which from its form, and from its greasy appearance, has evidently been used in tying the hair in one of those long queues of which sailors are so fond. Moreover, this knot is one which few besides sailors can tie, and is peculiar to the Maltese. I picked the ribbon up at the foot of the lighting-rod. It could not have belonged to either of the deceased. Now if, after all, I am wrong in my induction from this ribbon, that the Frenchman was a sailor belonging to a Maltese vessel, still I can have done no harm in saying what I did in the advertisement. If I am in error, he will merely suppose that I had been misled by some circumstance into which he will not take the trouble to inquire. But if I am right, a great point is gained. Cognizant although innocent of the murder, the Frenchman will naturally hesitate about replying to the advertisement--about demanding the Ourang-Outang. He will reason thus:--'I am innocent; I am poor; my Ourang-Outang is of great value--to one in my circumstances a fortune of itself--why should I lose it through idle apprehensions of danger? Here it is, within my grasp. It was found in the Bois de Boulogne--at a vast distance from the scene of that butchery. How can it ever be suspected that a brute best should have done the deed? The police are at fault--they have failed to procure the slightest clew. Show they even trace the animal, it would be impossible to prove me cognizant of the murder, or to implicate me in guilt on account of that cognizance. Above all, I am known. The advertiser designates me as the possessor of the beast. I am not sure to what limit his knowledge may extend. Should I avoid claiming a property of so great value, which is known that I possess, I will render the animal at least, liable to suspicion. It is not my policy to attract attention either to myself or to the beast. I will answer the advertisement, get the Ourang-Outang, and keep it close until this matter has blown over.'"
At this moment we heard a step upon the stairs.
"Be ready," said Dupin, "with your pistols, but neither use them nor show them until at a signal from myself."
"The front door of the house had been left open, and the visitor had entered, without ringing, and advanced several steps upon the staircase. Now, however, he seemed to hesitate. Presently we heard him descending. Dupin was moving quickly to the door, when we again heard him coming up. He did not turn back a second time, but stepped up with decision, and rapped at the door of our chamber.
"Come in," said Dupin, in a cheerful and hearty tone.
A man entered. He was a sailor, evidently,--a tall, stout, and muscular-looking person, with a certain dare-devil expression of countenance, not altogether unprepossessing. His face, greatly sunburnt, was more than half hidden by whisker and mustachio. He had with him a huge oaken cudgel, but appeared to be otherwise unarmed. He bowed awkwardly, and bade us "good evening," in French accents, which, although somewhat Neufchatelish, were still sufficiently indicative of a Parisian origin.
"Sit down, my friend," said Dupin. "I suppose you have called about the Ourang-Outang. Upon my word, I almost envy you the possession of him; a remarkably fine, and no doubt very valuable animal. How old do you suppose him to be?"
The sailor drew a long breath, with the air of a man relieved of some intolerable burden, and then replied in an assured tone:
"I have no way of telling--but he can't be more than four or five years old. Have you got him here?"
"Oh, no; we had no conveniences for keeping him here. He is at a livery stable in the Rue Dubourg, just by. You can get him in the morning. Of course you are prepared to identify the property?"
"To be sure I am, sir."
"I shall be sorry to part with him," said Dupin.
"I don't mean that you should be at all this trouble for nothing, sir," said the man. "Couldn't expect it. Am very willing to pay a reward for the finding of the animal--that is to say, any thing in reason."
"Well," replied my friend, "that is all very fair, to be sure. Let me think!--what should I have? Oh! I will tell you. My reward shall be this. You shall give me all the information in your power about these murders in the Rue Morgue."
Dupin said the last words in a very low tone, and very quietly. Just as quietly, too, he walked toward the door, locked it, and put the key in his pocket. He then drew a pistol from his bosom and placed it, without the least flurry, upon the table.
The sailor's face flushed up as if he were struggling with suffocation. He started to his feet and grasped his cudgel; but the next moment he fell back into his seat, trembling violently, and with the countenance of death itself. He spoke not a word. I pitied him from the bottom of my heart.
"My friend," said Dupin, in a kind tone, "you are alarming yourself unnecessarily--you are indeed. We mean you no harm whatever. I pledge you the honor of a gentleman, and of a Frenchman, that we intend you no injury. I perfectly well know that you are innocent of the atrocities in the Rue Morgue. It will not do, however, to deny that you are in some measure implicated in them. From what I have already said, you must know that I have had means of information about this matter--means of which you could never have dreamed. Now the thing stands thus. You have done nothing which you could have avoided--nothing, certainly, which renders you culpable. You were not even guilty of robbery, when you might have robbed with impunity. You have nothing to conceal. You have no reason for concealment. On the other hand, you are bound by every principle of honor to confess all you know. An innocent man is now imprisoned, charged with a crime of which you can point out the perpetrator."
The sailor had recovered his presence of mind, in a great measure, while Dupin uttered these words; but his original boldness of bearing was all gone.
"So help me God!" said he, after a brief pause, "I will tell you all I know about this affair;--but I do not expect you to believe one half I say--I would be a fool indeed if I did. Still, I am innocent, and I will make a clean breast if I die for it."
What he stated was, in substance, this. He had lately made a voyage to the Indian Archipelago. A party, of which he formed one, landed at Borneo, and passed into the interior on an excursion of pleasure. Himself and a companion had captured the Ourang-Outang. This companion dying, the animal fell into his own exclusive possession. After great trouble, occasioned by the intractable ferocity of his captive during the home voyage, he at length succeeded in lodging it safely at his own residence in Paris, where, not to attract toward himself the unpleasant curiosity of his neighbors, he kept it carefully secluded, until such time as it should recover from a wound in the foot, received from a splinter on board ship. His ultimate design was to sell it.
Returning home from some sailors' frolic on the night, or rather in the morning, of the murder, he found the beast occupying his own bedroom, into which it had broken from a closet adjoining, where it had been, as was thought, securely confined. Razor in hand, and fully lathered, it was sitting before a looking-glass, attempting the operation of shaving, in which it had no doubt previously watched its master through the keyhole of the closet. Terrified at the sight of so dangerous a weapon in the possession of an animal so ferocious, and so well able to use it, the man, for some moments, was at a loss what to do. He had been accustomed, however, to quiet the creature, even in its fiercest moods, by the use of a whip, and to this he now resorted. Upon sight of it, the Ourang-Outang sprang at once through the door of the chamber, down the stairs, and thence, through a window, unfortunately open, into the street.
The Frenchman followed in despair; the ape, razor still in hand, occasionally stopping to look back and gesticulate at his pursuer, until the latter had nearly come up with it. It then again made off. In this manner the chase continued for a long time. The streets were profoundly quiet, as it was nearly three o'clock in the morning. In passing down an alley in the rear of the Rue Morgue, the fugitive's attention was arrested by a light gleaming from the open window of Madame L'Espanaye's chamber, in the fourth story of her house. Rushing to the building, it perceived the lightning-rod, clambered up with inconceivable agility, grasped the shutter, which was thrown fully back against the wall, and, by its means, swung itself directly upon the headboard of the bed. The whole feat did not occupy a minute. The shutter was kicked open again by the Ourang-Outang as it entered the room.
The sailor, in the meantime, was both rejoiced and perplexed. He had strong hopes of now recapturing the brute, as it could scarcely escape from the trap into which it had ventured, except by the rod, where it might be intercepted as it came down. On the other hand, there was much cause for anxiety as to what it might do in the house. This latter reflection urged the man still to follow the fugitive. A lightning-rod is ascended without difficulty, especially by a sailor; but when he had arrived as high as the window, which lay far to his left, his career was stopped; the most that he could accomplish was to reach over so as to obtain a glimpse of the interior of the room. At this glimpse he nearly fell from his hold through excess of horror. Now it was that those hideous shrieks arose upon the night, which had startled from slumber the inmates of the Rue Morgue. Madame L'Espanaye and her daughter, habited in their night clothes, had apparently been occupied in arranging some papers in the iron chest already mentioned, which had been wheeled into the middle of the room. It was open, and its contents lay beside it on the floor. The victims must have been sitting with their backs toward the window, and, from the time elapsing between the ingress of the beast and the screams, it seem probable that it was not immediately perceived. The flapping-to of the shutter would naturally have been attributed to the wind.
As the sailor looked in, the gigantic animal had seized Madame L'Espanaye by the hair (which was loose, as she had been combing it), and was flourishing the razor about her face, in imitation of the motions of a barber. The daughter lay prostrate and motionless; she had swooned. The screams and struggles of the old lady (during which the hair was torn from her head) had the effect of changing the probably pacific purposes of the Ourang-Outang into those of wrath. With one determined sweep of its muscular arm it nearly severed here head from her body. The sight of blood inflamed its anger into phrensy. Gnashing its teeth, and flashing fire from its eyes, it flew upon the body of the girl, and imbedded its fearful talons in her throat, retaining its grasp until she expired. Its wandering and wild glances fell at this moment upon the head of the bed, over which the face of its master, rigid with horror, was just discernible.
The fury of the beast, who no doubt bore still in mind the dreaded whip, was instantly converted into fear. Conscious of having deserved punishment, it seemed desirous of concealing its bloody deeds, and skipped about the chamber in an agony of nervous agitation; throwing down and breaking the furniture as it moved, and dragging the bed from the bedstead. In conclusion, it seized first the corpse of the daughter, and thrust it up the chimney, as it was found; then that of the old lady, which it immediately hurled through the window headlong.
As the ape approached the casement with its mutilated burden, the sailor shrank aghast to the rod, and, rather gliding than clambering down it, hurried at once home--dreading the consequences of the butchery, and gladly abandoning, in his terror, all solicitude about the fate of the Ourang-Outang. The words heard by the party upon the staircase were the Frenchman's exclamations of horror and affright, commingled with the fiendish jabberings of the brute.
I have scarcely any thing to add. The Ourang-Outang must have escaped from the chamber, by the rod, just before the breaking of the door. It must have closed the window as it passed through it. It was subsequently caught by the owner himself, who obtained for it a very large sum at the Jardin des Plantes. Le Bon was instantly released, upon our narration of the circumstances (with some comments from Dupin) at the bureau of the Prefect of Police. This functionary, however well disposed to my friend, could not altogether conceal his chagrin at the turn which affairs had taken, and was fain to indulge in a sarcasm or two about the propriety of every person minding his own business.
"Let him talk," said Dupin, who had not thought it necessary to reply. "Let him discourse; it will ease his conscience. I am satisfied with having defeated him in his own castle. Nevertheless, that he failed in the solution of this mystery, is by no means that matter for wonder which he supposes it; for, in truth, our friend the Prefect is somewhat too cunning to be profound. In his wisdom is no stamen. It is all head and no body, like the pictures of the Goddess Laverna--or, at best, all head and shoulders, like a codfish. But he is a good creature after all. I like him especially for one master stroke of cant, by which he has attained his reputation for ingenuity. I mean the way he has 'de nier ce qui est, et d'expliquer ce qui n'est pas.'